Slowly

I've been too neglectful.

Things have been rather hectic. I'm trying to get everything together for my big move. I've already picked out the apartment, signed a lease agreement, and packed my stuff. I move in on the 1st, which is less than a week away. The electricity should be turned on that day, and so should all of the other utilities. But, there's some things I need to decide on.

Work is work. I'm comfortable, and it's getting easy. Usually, I'm the middle-relief guy. (I really hate baseball, but that's the only way I can describe it.) However, they're fine with me being the closer as well. (Stupid baseball.) Basically, I punch in sometime in the afternoon, tell whomever opened to take their lunch, and take care of anything that's going on. It's always a 7-hour shift. Well, until next week. Then I'll be getting a more stable 8-hour shift.

I can't believe this is all I have to show for the past two hours.

I really am out of it.

(I'll give you a call Wednesday, man. Sorry I missed it earlier today.)

Decisions again...

About a month ago, I left our [electronics] department to work with the [computer technicians.] Things have been going well. Not great, but definitely not bad. I'm picking things up fairly quick, and I feel comfortable.

I found out yesterday that my old supervisor is transferring to another store. That means that his position is available. One person asked if I was going to apply. Another person from that department said I should apply. These are comments from my peers, and it shows that I've proven myself.

But I don't know. It'd be nice just to apply. I just feel like it would be awkward since I would be watching over people I was on the same level with. I don't mean that I'm better. Just that they would have to take orders from me on occasion, and that wasn't the case about a month ago.

If the pay is tons better, why not? That's why I say, 'I dunno.' If a manager asks me about it, I'd be more comfortable. Otherwise, I'll just sit back and be happy.

I really am happy right now. I just feel like a little bonus in my pocket would be nice too.

With What?

Nothing going on my life. If you asked me about my day, I'd just say, "meh." It would be the lamest answer, ever.

Yet, my best friend, and my dad, are going through extremely rough times. Love, and death. Physical and emotional pain. In the most basic and general sense, loss.

If there's anything I fear, it's loss. Trust me, there are other fears that concern me, but loss might be number one. Whether it's losing a loved one, or just losing a game of poker, it hurts. When I get into something, or someone, I tend to put everything I have into it. If it's there, I immerse myself fully and expect nothing but the positive. I feel it, and I know it.

So when that 0.1% catches me off guard, it hurts. Even the best don't recover instantly.

But there's a reason I generally finish in the top 10% of any poker tournament. There's a reason why I feel like I could take the best from Daniel Negreanu, and give it right back to him with 2 blanks in my hand.

I can disconnect from anything, when I want. Whether it's the heartbreak that another causes, or the loss of a hand when the stakes are high, I can push it to the back of my mind and isolate it. It becomes my trump card. My opponent thinks that I'm on tilt. He expects a radical play. But I don't.

It's a blessing, and a curse. On one hand, my pain doesn't last longer than a brief moment. But it makes me emotionally inconsistent. Unstable. Unreliable.

But it's this unique ability that provides a basis for my martyr-complex. I think, "Pile it on me. Let it loose. I can handle it. If I can take your pain and help you the smallest bit, go for it."

And I guess it makes me less human. Emotions guide us, give us something to search for, and give us something to avoid. Just like when you touch a hot piece of metal and you jerk your hand away, emotions let you know who to get away from. And it's your emotions that keep you attracted to someone. They keep you coming back for more.

I'm rambling. There's no message here.

Cuatro Anos

Wouldn't want to leave a month off. How about an update?

Not much has changed. Still with the same company, but I'm finally in the computer technician area. Mostly. I spend 20 hours there, and 10 on the floor. But that's just until they find someone to replace me. They've had a few interviews, but nothing yet.

Still single, but I'm fine with that. The chics are lookin', but I'm not biting yet. I don't think I could ever date someone I worked with. I wouldn't feel awkward if things didn't work out, but there would be some tension of course.

Need to finish my apartment search. Now that I know how much I'll be making, I know what I can afford.

I'm going to try to update more often, but I dunno. I'm kinda boring.

Kinda Maybe

Ugh, I've actually been busy. But not with anything too interesting.

I picked up Rock Band for my XBox 360. It's fun enough, but sometimes I get bored with it. Or I just get frustrated. I already ripped through the guitar parts, and now I'm working on drums. I already hit my first obstacle, and I'm only on medium. I also picked up Assassin's Creed and Burnout: Paradise. It passes time when I'm not working.

Speaking of work, I think there's some change coming soon. I had my 3-month review, and everything was positive. I'm a go-to guy, and I'm trustworthy. Well, I found out that on that same day, one of the people from [our computer technician department] put in his notice. It sucks because the guy was really cool, and I was looking forward to working with him. On the bright side, a position is going to open up. And soon. It's what I wanted, but not the way I wanted.

Meh.

1.16.08

There was something I really wanted to write, but then I forgot what it was.

I was thinking about getting a new screen name. I've had this one for over 5 years, and it might be time for a change. When I got my new Xbox 360 and signed up for Xbox Live, I decided to get away from "FBombAndy." Mostly because I don't want my co-workers to find this. Or anything with that screen name attached to it.

Speaking of work, I'm in a phase where I just go through the motions. It's gotten easy, and I feel like it just doesn't challenge me anymore. It's been over 3 months, and I said I would send out my resume again if I didn't notice any improvement. So, I've been thinking about talking to my supervisor and seeing about doing something new. I've been waiting on moving up to being a [computer technician.] I'm going to find out if there are going to be any openings soon, or possibly at another store location. I'd rather not leave my current location, just because I've really gotten used to the people I work with.

It's just one of those flaws that I can't really fix. I pick things up quickly, and then I get bored. Once I meet my goal, I don't think about pushing myself further. I just look for the next challenge. So, even if I do get promoted, will I just get bored again in 3 months?

Either way, I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do once the lease runs up in March. And I'm working on consolidating my loans.

Something's gotta happen.

Don't Mess

Warning: The following post will have adult language. It is rated 'M,' for Mature.

Some asshole decided to come into my store today. After asking him if I could help him with anything, he muttered something like, "I know what I'm doing." He went straight to the monitors and started messing with them. One of my co-workers went back and just kind stood around. THe customer asked him if he would get an extra discount on an open item that was marked for clearance.

It was a $584 monitor. It was on clearance for $298. It was below the manufacturer's cost.

He was told by my co-worker, "It's already half off, what else do you want me to do?" Well, something along those lines.

The guy said he was given attitude, and asked if he could speak to a manager. I hesitated, and walked away for 3 seconds so I could let him cool down if only a bit. I came back, and he asked if I had one new in the box. I told him I would check. My inventory said that I had a new one, so I told him I would try to find it. I checked the normal places and the warehouse, but I couldn't find it. I told him the display model was the only one left, and he asked again to speak to a manager.

I called him over and quickly briefed him. When we got back, he immediately started ranting about, "professionalism and respect." He mentioned how he was a manager for a competitor of ours. My manager calmed him down, and again backed us up on the price. He wanted to check it out with a different computer, so he asked if I could remove it from the display location. I did, because I thought he was going to buy the monitor. Might as well disconnect it, right?

I set it up, and it wasn't getting a picture. He then said, "Well, just hook it up to this computer." He then started undoing the cables. I told him to let me do it. He mentioned that he had done this plenty of times. I told him that I was the employee, and he was the customer. (Well, something like that.) He kept going anyway. I turned my back.

He then complained that the text was blurry, but still wanted it anyway. He asked if another store would have new one in the box. I checked my inventory, again, and told him that his best shot was a store 30 minutes away. He asked if I could call and verify that they had one. I informed him that to my knowledge, I cannot make that call. I can only give him the number. I explained to him why, and he started walking away mid-sentence. He made some gesture to the chic he was with, and walked off.

He complained one last time to my manager. Something about how he came in to buy something, but he didn't receive enough help.

My manager wasn't angry, but he was mildly upset. When he heard my coworker's side of the story, and my confirmation of that story, he understood the situation. In his words, "No matter how rude a customer is, we still have to be respectful. After they leave, then we can label them an asshole."

The guy was nearly 6'3, and probably 190lbs. I don't care. If we were out on the street, I'd still do some damage to him. Everyone that witnessed it would have taught the guy a lesson had we not been in our work clothes.

If you come into my store and disrespect me, I won't help you. I'll do the opposite of helping you. If I have the item you're looking for, and there's one left, I'm not selling it to you. If I'm off the clock and doing some shopping, and I notice you're being rude to one of my co-workers, I'll have security watch every move you make.

I said words today that I haven't said in years. I'm hoping it will years more before I say them again.

2008.1

Sunday sucked. I went in at 1PM, and nothing was going on. Barely any customers. I worked on setting up computers and fixing things up.

This one guy came in. He wanted some computers, exactly like in the ad. And he didn't want anything to be done to them. It all sounded like an order. "May I have a number one with no lettuce? And can you make that drink a Sprite?" Once I got to the register, he basically said, "Oh, this burger is medium well. Could I have it well done instead?"

After I rung them out, they stood there for a few minutes more making sure the price was right. And it was. But his wife kept asking dumb questions.

Once they realized that they weren't going to get any money back, they walked off. I was a good 50 feet away from my department, so I took advantage by staying where I was. I leaned against the counter, and just stared at nothing. One of the computer tech guys teased and asked if I needed someone to talk to. I just smirked and kept staring.

I don't work on commission, so I really don't care how much a customer spends. I never try to sell someone more than they need. I show them some options, ask for they're opinion, and inform them of other features they could have. If I hear the word 'no,' I immediately back off. And this is what people like. I would know, because I've shopped before.

It was just odd, because that's the first time I was genuinely frustrated. I didn't want to go back to my department. I just wanted 2 minutes to clear my head. Once I had, I was fine.

I still like where I am. It's easy, and my co-workers are easy to get along with. It's a good time, each time.