Rebirth of the Fool

I don't know what my deal is. Sometimes my thoughts don't match up with who I am.

I read another's blog, and I couldn't help but think to myself, "Really? Are you sure? Because I remember something much different. In fact, quite the opposite." I almost want to laugh at the 360 they pulled.

I'll try to put it as delicately as possible. I have respect for any person of faith. I understand how important religion can be. If it can influence someone to do the right thing, then I'm all for it. In my case, 13+ years of church developed my sense of right or wrong. If I were to start going again, I would just hear the same lesson. I get it already. Help those in need, and give freely.

I truly want to believe in the idea of a "born-again" individual. If it's possible for a person of corrupt ways to repent and change their lifestyle for the benefit of all, then why not encourage it? But then I think it would be a lie if one were to change over night. Or even in a week.

I tend to not give the benefit of the doubt to a person who claims to be "born-again." I don't like second chances. And I don't like the idea that a murderer can change his ways while waiting for an execution. I don't like the idea that simply asking for forgiveness is enough. There should be more involved.

Then again, I'm not much for apologies. I don't find much worth in the words, "I'm sorry." Less than half of the time, it's not sincere. How much effort does it really take?

So when I read about someone I knew, and how they've found their purpose in life, I tend to question their mental health. Life isn't a movie. Things don't get better instantly. Waiting for a sign is the best way to waste your time.

If you really believe that things are going to be handed to you simply because you're a good person now, then there's no reason to believe you are deserving. If you really want to be a decent human being, then that's reason enough for me to give my time. But if you're just trying to do good so you'll be rewarded, then I won't help your cause.

It's almost like I get this 'holier-than-thou' approach to things like this. It's not that I feel I'm better though. I just feel that the other person isn't worthy. Same thing? I hope not. Otherwise, it's another flaw to fix.