Hump Night

It was just another slow day. In fact, it's supposed to be a slow week. Everyone blew their paycheck last Friday, so no one is spending a dime this week. It means that I do more standing around, and that let's my mind wander.

The first thing I did was help one of my coworkers. I hadn't really talker to her before, but I've noticed her. She's a bit taller than me, and very slender. She's cute. She name-dropped a particular video game, and mentioned a laptop. So, she get's bonus points in my book. Besides, taller chics have longer legs.

Other than that, there wasn't anything memorable. I came home, watched some TV, and ate a pizza. Now I'm in my room and listening to Radiohead. Real original, I know.

Still, I just have to make it through tomorrow. Then I'm going to DoubleDave's to watch the Cowboys game. I'll be able to stay up since I'm off Friday. Fun nights.

By the which, I'm thinking about rewaring my 'fans' out there. Still thinking of how though...

Almost Wednesday

It was really slow today, and that's odd considering that all of the new movies and music came out today. Usually there's a good flow towards the media department, and then it trickles to my department. But there wasn't much.

There were plenty of funny things going on though. I helped this one lady, and she wasn't bad looking. In fact, I'd rate her a seven, which is pretty high on my scale. As soon as I walked away from her, one of my coworkers walked up to her and tried to play it smooth. I cracked up just a bit. And then some chic that works with us came in on her day off. Another coworker walked right up to her and mentioned something about a phone number and a hookup.

I don't think there's anyone at work that I would consider dating. Either they're taken, or they're too young. Besides, things get awkward if it doesn't work out.

My voice isn't back yet either. It's getting close, but people still ask if I'm feeling better.

Tomorrow is another long day. And Thursday. But I do get Friday off, which is a big plus. I have crap to take care of. By the which, I don't know when exactly, but I'm going to start using Google Talk again. I think. Unless there's a better IM out there.

Back Again

I figure it's time to start posting on a regular basis again. The holidays are almost over, and there's nothing else for me to do while everyone else does their thing.

These past few weeks have been hectic. My hours have been soaring, and it's spilling over into the only time I have free - the time that I am asleep. I'll have dreams where I'm at work, helping people or answering questions. It sucks. I'll wake up three time a night before my alarm goes off, and it isn't until the last dream that I finally escape. By then, the alarm is only five minutes away. I really only get 5 minutes of rest.

But my mind isn't working nearly as hard. It feels like my brain has been off for weeks. I mean, I haven't been required to do any critical thinking in a while. I'm not even motivated to analyze people, or their actions. Usually when I make new friends, I mark out every detail of the conversation. Not anymore. I'm too lazy.

I feel so comfortable now at [the place I work at.] The first week was weird becasue everyone kinda just kept walking. Now, they all stop and start talking to me. I know who likes what, and what to mention to each person. I know who the Cowboy fans are, and I know who doesn't like sports.

Either way, I need to be asleep in an hour I think. Better start winding down.

Quickly

So, I haven't written in a while. I figure I'll do at least a brief update.

Upper Respiratory Infection set in on Tuesday, and I had to call in sick on Wednesday. Thursday was ok, except that I yelled at my dad and left early in the afternoon. I went into work at 10:30AM today, even though the infection invaded my sinuses. I got out at 9PM, and my voice is nearly 100% gone.

Now I'm really tired. Going to sleep and see if my voice comes back in the morning.

Watch and Learn

I have a special list of movies. If I'm flipping through the channels, and one of those movies is on, I'll watch it. No matter what. Eurotrip is one such movie. It's hilarious, and it's always entertaining. Another is SuperTroopers. At this moment, it is on Comedy Central. Every time I watch it, I tell myself that I need to just buy the DVD. And I really should, because I don't think my dad has seen it.

I was checking out iTunes for new music. I forgot how much I miss Jazz Band. Well, I miss playing music in general. But my favorite songs are so laid back, and I still have the solos memorized. Miles, Coltrane, and Clifford Brown.

I'm feeling good again. With the 'smirk.' I know what's up. When my hair is freshly cut, and I'm wearing new shirts, I become a different person. Even in my work clothes, it doesn't matter. And I really think that it's easier for me to approach people now.

I still hate waking up in the morning. No matter how much sleep I get, my stomach still hates me. But I'll start taking my meds regularly to see if it helps. Before, I was taking them once a week, but it's supposed to be once a day. Meh.

Where to?

I had a purpose tonight. I logged onto blogger with the intention of writing a nice, long post.

But then I got distracted. And once that happened, I forgot my inspiration. I don't have the luxury of focusing on my 'muse.' I can't pinpoint a specific time in my life no matter what. There are no stories in my head that need to be typed.

So, I know exactly what any new reader is thinking. "Is this guy being forced to do anything? Why is he complaining about a hobby?"

I've been doing this since August of 2003. There were weeks when I didn't write one word. There were days that had multiple posts. I've hit my peaks, and I've reached some lows. But no matter what, I do my best to provide something intelligent, thought-provoking, or just entertaining.

Here's the problem. I've used up every last thing I can remember. I don't talk about people in my life, so that they may have their privacy as well. What's left? Do I reinvent myself? Do I create an alternate personality to liven up the place?

The only thing that's been on my mind lately is what I'm going to do in the future. I'll be sending out my resume again next month. The lease on this apartment runs up in March. Will I have a legitimate job by then? Should I move in with my parents until I'm financially stable? And if so, for how long? Could I really live like that?

So, first answer. I better damn well have a legit job by March. I'll be too pissed off at myself if I don't.

Second, moving in with my parents would help out in the long run. I could pay off my student loans in two years, possibly less. I could also build my credit and reduce my overall stress. However, I don't think that I could make it that long. After one month of living there, I would surely explode and lash out at all members of this family. The more I am with them, the more I realize that I am the different one. I guess that also answers the third question. And fourth question.

There are five people in my immediate family. 40% are the emotional type. The slightest, most trivial thing can set them off. They have no self-control, and they don't believe it's their fault. Another 40% are forced to retreat into the background. No one knows what's really going on.

And then there's me. I can be emotional, but I can control it. I can also be quiet enough to where no one knows I'm even there. I am a combination of both sides of this family. But that means I see the flaws in both sides. I hate it when people get emotional. And I hate it when I don't really know what's going on. That's why I really need to consider living elsewhere. Maybe in a different city. Maybe in a different state. I don't know.

Now I'm just rambling. That's enough. Better get some sleep so I can forget it all for nine hours.

Nowhere

I would write something, but I'm still living a boring life. I wake up, kill time, and go to work. That's the routine for most of the week. When I do have a day off, I don't do anything interesting. I just lay around and relax.

For example, I woke up around noon today. Then I sat down and played Guitar Hero 3 for an hour or two. I finally beat this one song on expert, and it had been frustrating me for quite a while. Then I got ready for work and left. Nothing happened at work, mainly because I was reorganizing the shelves and setting up new computers. I didn't help anyone that was remotely interesting. No cute girls. Nothing. No one.

I got home and watched TV for a bit. Then I started checking my usual sites. Now I'm here at my desk, just trying to think of something that made today unique. But there was nothing. I won't remember a thing about today.

I'm so tired of this warm weather. The high for tomorrow is 89. It's mid-November. Come on.

In a few posts, I've written about the one thing that keeps me superstitious. Tuesday the 13th. Everything bad happened to me on a Tuesday. And it was always the 13th day of the month. But today wasn't like that. Nothing bad happened. I kept waiting for it, and then the clock struck midnight. I was overly cautious for no reason.

But now my waiting is something different. I'm waiting for that one opportunity. Just standing by the door, listening, and waiting.

Meh.

Bor-ing

On the Fox Sports Network, they are airing the Hooter's Pageant. I'm really disappointed. Some of those girls look like they've spent too much time in the sun. Others look shiny...like plastic.

I finally get some time off. I've been going non-stop since last Friday. And nothing significant has been going on. I got quizzed by a supervisor the other night. It just focused on presentation and knowledge of items. Apparently I did fairly well. But I don't think it means much.

One of the chics that works there changed her hair. Looks really good.

I don't want to go to bed yet, but I'm feeling pretty tired. And I'm kinda boring right now. I'm limited to work, and sleep. Even my days off are uneventful. I went shopping the other day and picked up some shirts. But I didn't do anything else. I already mentioned the new phone. I have a few albums on it now. I had to buy a 1GB MicroSD card, and then set that up.

Oh well. Time to dream. Maybe I should talk about those more?

Upper

Just killing time until Friday. I get two days off in a row, and it's the better part of the weekend.

It was really quiet tonight. In fact, they decided that 2 of us could go home early. I volunteered since I was already feeling tired. I was also bored. So, I started checking the employee discount on some stuff. I used the general code, since I wasn't sure if my discount had kicked in. Yesterday still showed me as ineligible. Fortunately, I'm eligible now. So I picked up some stuff for my new phone.

Also did a little clothes shopping today. Bought a couple of shirts and some pants. I couldn't find a belt my size though. That's the most important thing that I'm missing, and I think I'm going to visit a more specialized store.

Meh. Boring.

Not Too Bad

I just put in 10 hours today. I woke up at 5:45AM, went to a 2-hour training session (that was well worth it), went home for an hour, and then went to work from noon to 8PM. I have to open tomorrow morning, so I really need to go to bed.

I've been venting about my frustration with my cell phone carrier. Well, I don't know how to explain it, but it was taken care of today, and all I had to do was answer 2 questions.

Some of our training sessions involve speeches from representatives of a particular brand. It can be anything, so long as it's electronic. Or just new. Well, I went to the cell phone speeches and looked for my carrier. I listened for the 30 minutes, and then they quizzed us. That's when I put it all together concerning the boxes on the table. Boxes that contained new cell phones. Those were for winners. And I'm a winner. They let me pick one out, so I got the new RAZR2 V9 from Motorola. I really lucked out this morning.

In fact, that really made the rest of my day. I had to deal with long-winded customers, but I was still happy. I had to deal with a flood of people in the afternoon because our weekly ad just came out, but I was still happy.

So, that's one problem I don't have to worry about now. And it means I'll be taking more pictures soon.

Rebirth of the Fool

I don't know what my deal is. Sometimes my thoughts don't match up with who I am.

I read another's blog, and I couldn't help but think to myself, "Really? Are you sure? Because I remember something much different. In fact, quite the opposite." I almost want to laugh at the 360 they pulled.

I'll try to put it as delicately as possible. I have respect for any person of faith. I understand how important religion can be. If it can influence someone to do the right thing, then I'm all for it. In my case, 13+ years of church developed my sense of right or wrong. If I were to start going again, I would just hear the same lesson. I get it already. Help those in need, and give freely.

I truly want to believe in the idea of a "born-again" individual. If it's possible for a person of corrupt ways to repent and change their lifestyle for the benefit of all, then why not encourage it? But then I think it would be a lie if one were to change over night. Or even in a week.

I tend to not give the benefit of the doubt to a person who claims to be "born-again." I don't like second chances. And I don't like the idea that a murderer can change his ways while waiting for an execution. I don't like the idea that simply asking for forgiveness is enough. There should be more involved.

Then again, I'm not much for apologies. I don't find much worth in the words, "I'm sorry." Less than half of the time, it's not sincere. How much effort does it really take?

So when I read about someone I knew, and how they've found their purpose in life, I tend to question their mental health. Life isn't a movie. Things don't get better instantly. Waiting for a sign is the best way to waste your time.

If you really believe that things are going to be handed to you simply because you're a good person now, then there's no reason to believe you are deserving. If you really want to be a decent human being, then that's reason enough for me to give my time. But if you're just trying to do good so you'll be rewarded, then I won't help your cause.

It's almost like I get this 'holier-than-thou' approach to things like this. It's not that I feel I'm better though. I just feel that the other person isn't worthy. Same thing? I hope not. Otherwise, it's another flaw to fix.

Returning

It's been a long time. But even in these past 8 days, nothing surprising or interesting has happened. It's been the same old story, and it's too boring.

Things are going well at [where I work.] My hours have been increasing each week, and that's a good thing. I'm still waiting for the [computer repair team] to get an opening. I've been doing small tasks for them, such as RAM upgrades and what-not. The biggest transition would involve the uniform.

I've written a few paragraphs about one particular female co-worker. Well, she left. Last week was her last. I guess it's better in the long run, since I don't really have to think about whether or not I should say something. I can just focus on how single I am, and weigh the pros and cons of it all. When I look at it that way, I feel content.

I was having a discussion with another co-worker, and I couldn't really remember why I hated some punk kid in high school. I mean, I knew why I disliked him, but I couldn't remember why I 'hated' him. It might have been because he was a teacher's pet, or a suck-up, or a liar. Maybe he tried to make fun of me once, and I put him in his place. I just remember that if no one were around, I would have kicked his ass.

It sucks that I didn't start blogging until my second year of college. I wish I could go back and write about high school. In my old age, I've forgotten too much. It consumed 4 years of my life, and I can remember a week's worth of events at most. If I had written more down, I would be able to answer questions that constantly bother me.

It's an odd thing. If you know what to search for, you'll find over 700 results that refer to me. But if you go just by my name, you won't find anything. I like that kind of privacy.

I'm almost done with my cell phone service provider. I'm probably going to switch. I'm ready for a new phone, and they want me to call to order it. I can't even use their stupid website. It doesn't make sense at all.