25 Hours?

A packed day, to say the least.

First, I went to class and did all of that note-taking stuff. Was kind of boring, and I nearly passed out a few times. But afterwards I had to rush to the bus stop and get home. Well, I didn't have to rush, but I did. I played Guitar Hero for a while, and I only have one song left on expert.

I grabbed my French Horn and went back to campus around 4:30. It took an hour to get to campus because the route I took involved getting on I-35. There was actually a ton of traffic. Either way, I made it campus and put my horn in my locker. I walked briskly to my group meeting. I was late. By about 10 minutes. I feel bad about that, because I hate being late to anywhere or anything.

Best group meeting ever. We sat around and played Unreal Tournament for 1 - 1/2 hours. I know we didn't get anything accomplished, but I think it was still good for morale.

The more I think about the problem mentioned in the last post, the more I want to just forget about it. And for me, that's an easy task.

Finally, Fermin turns 21 today. I find it hard to believe. It feels like it was just yesterday that he turned 20. It only makes me think about the good ol' days.

Move Along

I'm constantly looking for that one excuse. The one that never fails. Old reliable.

I'm torn. On one hand, I can do the right thing, forget the past, and sleep easier. Or, I can just call it a day, move on to tomorrow, and sleep easier for tonight. But I'm also having trouble figuring out what the right thing to do is.

Everything that was stuck in the back of my mind is free now. Most of my questions have been answered. It would probably be best to quit while I'm ahead. There's no need to push things further.

And even though it's all answered, I haven't felt that lift yet. There's still a weight on my shoulders. I still feel obligated to do one last thing. Guess that means that what I think and what I feel are two different things.

You know what? I don't need more phone numbers. I don't do enough with the ones I have. I don't talk. I just type.

And that's why I believe I should just call it a day.

Una Mezcla

Finally, some quiet time.

My parents and Pat were in town this weekend. Everything went smoothly, except for one game of basketball, but that's expected.

Pat brought his XBOX 360, so that meant we stayed up 'til 6 in the morning playing video games. The Kid wakes up at 9 most days, so getting good sleep was rare. And because my stomach sucks, little sleep makes for a stomach full of fire.

When I went to bed last night, I decided that I would sleep in and skip my CS 352 class. I need my stomach to be in working order, and I had a migraine that was absolutely sucking. I woke up at 8:45AM, but went back to sleep. I woke up at 9:30AM, but that wasn't enough. I finally got out of bed around noon.

I just found out that my CS 352 class was cancelled anyway. Great timing.

Things have gotten weird on MySpace. Real weird.

Otherwise, not much else has been going on. Just another slow day. Can't believe that it's almost May. That freaks me out.

Cool Breeze

Sometimes, it's great to be me.

I finally gave up on the long hair idea. Went to the barber shop yesterday and got rid of it. I feel so different, and that's a good thing.

The past two days here in Austin saw high temperatures of 100 degrees. It really sucked. I didn't leave the apartment today. I fell asleep on my elbow, and if that's ever happened to you, you know how much it sucks. Spent most of today working on my cultural presentation in Spanish. It has to be 3 minutes of speaking all from memory. Shouldn't be too hard, except that I can barely remember 1 minute worth of information.

Either way, a cold front came through, so the high for tomorrow is 85 degrees or so. That still feels ridiculously hot to me, but I'll survive.

My alarm clock finally gave up. No matter how I wind it, it still only lasts a few hours. I'll have to buy a new one. I might try to get a fancy one with a CD player and all. I sleep with my computer on so I can listen to iTunes while I go to sleep. Unfortunately, it also makes the room warmer than usual.

Another group meeting on Thursday. I'll stay on campus and shoot the ball around, fix my horn, and maybe do some homework. Having 4 hours to kill isn't necessarily a good thing.

Guess I don't have much else to say. I thought I did, but I was wrong. Oh well.

Rising Heat

It's supposed to reach 97 degrees tomorrow. That sucks bad. And it makes me hate Texas even more.

Otherwise, it's been rather nice. To an extent. The past 3 days were filled with birthdays. An old friend on the 13th, my bro on the 14th, and J on the 15th. I didn't realize that they were all so close together. Only the best for them all.

Thursday was alright. I played some ball with Ryan, shot around at the gym for a while, and then went to a meeting with my CS 352 group. We discussed some of the project, but mostly told stories and such. I actually had fun listening to it all also.

Erik, my bro, my sis-in-law, and I all went to Dave & Buster's. It was nothing but good food and fun. Played one of those arcade basketball games, and I was kiling on it. I was consistently hitting 10 shots each time. My bro played it a few times, but didn't get more than 7. Erik and I finished with over 1000 tickets, so he got a stuffed Bevo, I got a stuffed bear in Mavs pajamas, and we split on a shot glass.

I didn't do much with my weekend. It bothered me that Sunday got here so quick. I'm just dreading this week. I don't have any tests or tough homework assignments. I just wish it were all over.

I've decided that I'm not going to take summer classes. And yes, this means that I'm not going to graduate until May. Right now, I just feel like I really need a break from school. So, I'm looking for a job. Nothing too fancy, just something that won't bore me to death and won't require hard work. I'm tempted to get a job at Fry's. I know enough to dominate the computer section, but I hate dealing with people. Eh.

So either way, there's only one thing I want to end this post with.

I really can't believe that I've known J for over a year now. Time really does fly by. But it is a nice thing to say, "Hey, I've known them for a long time." There are people that I knew for months and then never heard from them again. Those might have been a few nice months, but I'll take a longer friendship any day.

I'm glad I know you, J.

Oh Yea?

Hmm...fill in everything from Thursday to today? Yea, I guess I could do that.

I think I did alright on my CS 352 test. One of the problems had me thinking for 20 minutes, and I probably got that one complete wrong. I feel alright about the other questions though.

I really don't remember much about Thursday though, besides watching My Name Is Earl.

I went to class on Friday, and went to my French Horn lessons. I totally sucked. But that's what happens when you're sick for a week and don't have time to practice. I know that I watched the Spurs-Mavs game, which was totally awesome. It really made me happy.

Don't remember anything from yesterday.

Today, I had to go to campus to meet with my new group. Was nice to be on campus on a weekend. Hadn't done that in forever. After screwing around for an hour, I ate lunch and went to my Horn Instructor's recital. It was really good. She sounded great. I was annoyed by the guy in front of me though, because he kept nodding off and eventually slumped down in his chair to sleep. That bastard! I wanted to slap the back of his head, but that would have caused a disturbance in the middle of a song.

The West Wing was real serious today. It was a good episode. Nothing else on TV tonight, so I came to the room and tried to study. So far, I've accomplished nothing. I really want to get an 'A' on this Spanish test, just so I can believe that studying is a good thing.

I'm not tired, and I'm not ready to sleep. But I am ready to lay down.

Not Too Shabby

As I mentioned to Brandon earlier today, I'm sure my criticism from last night was just a reaction to that ridiculously hard test. It really put me in a foul mood.

Today was simple. I had to write a composition in Spanish, and then I went home. Played Guitar Hero, watched some TV, and watched the Spurs get demolished. All in all, it was a good day. I even studied a little bit for my test tomorrow.

By the way, if I'm in a bad mood tomorrow, you'll know why.

I didn't import all of my music to iTunes when I first started using it. I just put in the groups I listen to the most. Well, about a week ago I decided to put in most of the rest. I forgot all about Interpol.

I mentioned a long time ago that I attach memories to certain groups or songs. So, when I hear Interpol, I think about riding around with my bro and sis-on-law. We would go to North Austin and just drive around. This was during my 1st year. I guess I enjoyed it so much because I didn't have to be at my dorm with my crappy roommate. I rarely spent weekends at my dorm. I would just go over to my bro's and hang out over there.

And yes, I realize that most of my favorite memories involve being in a car on a highway. It's just something that I really like.

Sometimes I want to not be single. But 5 minutes later, I'm too happy that I'm single. It makes no sense. I guess it only happens when a pretty chic walks by. Guess that's normal. Ha!

Being single is great. I can look around without being scolded or anything.

Either way, I better get some sleep.

Restless Nights

Today sucked kind of bad.

Didn't get much sleep last night, so my stomach was on fire this morning. I have no idea how I made it to campus, nor do I remember. I dressed up just a lil' bit, but I don't know if it was worth it. It was friggin' hot outside, and our group didn't rank in the top 4 of the class. So now we might get split up for the 2nd phase, and I have enough trouble meeting people as it is.

Afterwards I went home. I checked my email and such, then promptly passed out on my bed for 2 hours. Woke up, changed, and caught a bus going to campus. I know, I could have stayed on campus which would have saved myself from 2 bus trips. I don't care. A nap in my bed is worth it.

My CS 341 test totally sucked. I knew about half of it, and I'm hoping that's more than everyone else knew. I can't be sure though, because there are some really big nerds in there. You know, the type that actually study. I did put in some cramming last night, but my mind was overflowing.

I haven't slept well over the past few nights because I end up thinking about everything. It gets real bad, to the point where there are 4 or 5 general subjects in my head, and it feels like 20 people are talking all at once. I might think about an assignment for one of my classes, something I saw on campus, something that I realized on the bus, and finally what I'm going to do tomorrow.

As I walked out of the testing room, a thought crossed my mind. If you look up the word "underachiever" in the dictionary, I'm almost 100% certain that there will be a picture of me next to it. I don't know if it's a lack of motivation, inspiration, or a combination of the two.

3 years ago, I would have used my future high school reunion as motivation to do my best. But the closer it gets, the more I think I won't even go. In fact, there's little to no chance of me going.

2 years ago, I would have thought about my extended family and how it would impress them. Although, it could have been more about myself being the black sheep. Would be nice to do something great. But now I couldn't care less about what they think of me.

Last year, I would have thought about a friend I wanted attention from. At the time, I thought that if I had something stable in my life, I would be able to focus and set my priorities straight. But that wasn't the solution.

Today, I have no motivation. I wake up, go to class, do what I need to, and leave. I don't put in any extra work. In fact, I'm all about the bare minimum. But that will only get you so far.

See, that's what bothers me. I know what my problem is. I know what I need to do. But I can't force myself to do it. Which I guess is the second half of the ongoing cycle between motivation and success. I don't consider myself successful, so I have no motivation, which means I'll never succeed.

It could be deeper. I set ridiculously high standards for myself. My idea of success on an exam is reading each question, writing each answer, turning it in within 30 minutes, and walking out knowing I aced it. Yet, all of my classes have curves and what not. They are there for a reason. No one aces the test, except maybe 1 or 2 people out of 50.

And once again, my night is going to be wrecked by this.

The Bed

I don't know if I can remember a day quite like the one I just had.

I woke up and got ready for class. After coughing stuff up and sneezing stuff out, I decided that maybe it wasn't best for me to go. We were supposed to talk in Spanish with some people, and I really didn't want to get anyone else sick. I thought I had a sinus infection, but now I'm not so sure. I'm getting muscle aches, so that tells me it's a cold Seems weird though.

Either way, I watched some TV with my bro and the kid. Major League was on. It's a hilarious movie, so long as it's uncut. Then he put the kid down for a nap and took one as well. I spent this time watching The Day After Tomorrow.

My bro, sis-in-law, and the kid all went to the store around 3 or so. I didn't want to go, because I really thought I had allergies going on. Being outside was not going to help me any. So, I stayed home, shaved, and checked my email every 5 minutes or so.

I found out that we were having a group meeting. I should have assumed that we were going to. The project is due Tuesday, after all. I jumped on the next bus and went to campus. No time to put gel in my hair or anything. I just put on some shoes, grabbed my backpack, and left.

Spent the next 2 - 1/2 hours or so researching the instructions accepted by a fast IEU (Integer Execution Unit.) Then we broke for dinner, which I ate by myself. I don't like eating in front of people. I don't know, I just feel weird when I do. I went back to the dorm where our meeting room was and sat outside for a while. You have to swipe your ID to get in, and that checks to see if you actually live there. So, no entry for me with my ID. I didn't mind though, since it gave me time to enjoy the wind and quietness.

When we met back up, it was just me and the team leader. She had some music on. I think it was Ben Lee. Wasn't too bad. I don't know if I'd rush out and buy the CD, but if it were on the radio, I wouldn't change the channel. Started working again, and that went on for 2 more hours.

I finally left at 10PM or so. I tried to hurry to the bus stop, but lost track of where I was. So, I ended up missing my bus by 30 seconds. Strangely enough, I didn't even feel angry. I just felt disappointed. The next bus wasn't coming for another 40 minutes, so I went to the Union and sat down.

I finally left campus at 10:50PM. The bus had some odd people on it, so I didn't put in my earphones. I don't like to flash anything someone might want to steal. So, a 45-minute bus ride with no music. It kind of sucked.

Got home around 11:40PM. Ate some chicken and rice. Went to my room, which is where I am now.

So, Tuesday is going to suck. We present our project. Then I may or may not have French Horn lessons. If I do, then I get to stay on campus for my test at 7PM. If I don't then I'm going to go home, sleep for an hour, come back to campus, eat some Wendy's, and then go to the testing room.

I don't know. I'll probably end up staying on campus no matter what. Eh, maybe I should call Ryan and see what he's up to. Haven't spoken to him in forever.

So, why "The Bed?" Because that's all I'm looking at right now. It's the only thing I'm dreaming about.

Oh, and did I mention that my apartment complex is going to have a fire drill in the morning?

Crappy Week

So, about a week ago or so, my sis-in-law came home from work and wasn't feeling too good. I think she had a sinus infection and some other stuff. It passed along to my bro and their kid a few days later. Then it passed on to me Friday. I really thought I had lucked out and avoided my yearly sinus infection. Nope.

Also, I have a huge project due Tuesday afternoon, an important exam Tuesday night, and then another exam Thursday afternoon. I am so screwed, but it could be worse.

My parents were planning on coming down two weeks from now, but I'm hearing that they might not be able to. My dad had to fix his XTerra, and it was fairly expensive. At least that's what I think the reason is. But he did say that's it's running much smoother.

I know I should probably study right now, but I can't even think right now. Something feels off.