New Year Soon

I have to go to beed soon because I have to open tomorrow. That's been the routine for the past two weeks.

Almost. Two weeks ago, I came down with some food poisoning. I ate at a fast food restaurant that I really enjoy. Well, I guess they didn't cook the burger very well, and it finally kicked my ass the night after. I ate it Tuesday night, right after I got off of work. Wednesday morning was filled with shakes, chills, dry heaves, and back spasms. I went to a clinic, but I couldn't keep waiting. So I went to the local ER. They said it was a mixture of dehydration and food poisoning.

They hooked me up to two IVs and let me pass out. Before the IVs were successfully inserted, they had to try three times. The first was at the usual spot, on the inside of my elbow. The second was a little higher, but that didn't work very well either. So, they put it in the back of my hand. Fairly painful, but nothing I couldn't handle.

When I got home from the ER, I laid down on my bed. I drifted in and out of sleep for 6 hours. In the middle of the night, I woke up, grabbed my trash can, and started hurling. I carried it to the bathroom, where I finished the deed. Just to put it in perspective, I hadn't thrown up in over 6 years. It was a good streak.

I only missed a day of work, but the medication made my first day back really fuzzy. I was extremely light-headed and couldn't focus on anything. So I sat in the back and worked on computers.

A few days later, I accidentally bumped my arm where they had missed the IV. The vein opened a bit, and blood started collecting in my arm. It bubbled a bit, and I had to put ice on it. It was very similar to what happened on my right hand when I punched the floor. But now there's a green spot where it happened, and it's been like that for over a week now.

There's more, but I want to sleep. I'm back though, and that's what matters.

One More Go

Nothing new. It's just the usual "go to work, go home and sleep" routine. But even then, I don't have to work hard. Like tonight, there weren't many customers. So, I floated between my department and the computer repair department. Helped out with the computers and anyone who had questions.

More of the coworkers are warming up to me. The conversations are getting longer, and their censorship is disappearing. It makes it easier on me because then I don't have to censor myself as much. Every sentence I speak ends in "sir" or "ma'am." But when things are quiet, the talk is much more casual.

It is kind of nice working in a major retail store. So many cute chics...(One came in and played our Rock Band demo. She was really good. But a coworker and I couldn't determine how old she was.)

I've gotta work tomorrow. So, I can't stay up too late. In fact, I should probably get ready for bed.

Asking What?

So, when approaching a female, is it ok to ask for age? Or is it one of those things where if you have to ask, the answer isn't going to be favorable? I'm assuming the latter.

There's another major retail store in the same shopping center as where I work. There's a cute chic who works in that store. I'm into legs, and she has seriously nice legs. Very womanly.

So, I think the plan is to send one of my younger co-workers over to that store to scout. If she's closer to his age, then I consider her off-limits. And he can call dibs. Otherwise, well, I'll look into it.

Going to be fun tomorrow. There should be a good closing crew, and I get to watch Heroes without commercial interruptions once I get home. For now, I'm going to grab some Doritos and watch TV. Maybe I'll pop in the new Futurama movie. I haven't watched it yet.

Not A Cougar

This was a good night. We had a really good crew working tonight.

Something really interesting happened. Before I begin, I should mention that we have a different way of helping customers. First, each one of us is required to know the products we are talking about. If you ask me about an iPod, a computer, a digital camera, whichever, I need to know everything about it. Not only do we need to know the product, we are 'encouraged' to get to know the customer. Not just the question "what are they buying," but also, "why are they buying it?"

I was helping a woman pick out an iPod. For her son. She wan't bad-looking. I bet she looked great in her early 20s. Either way, while I gave her information on the iPod Touch, she slowly moved closer to me. And she started to joke with me. I carried her items to customer service, and things were bought. Two of the other things she bought weren't heavy, but were in weird boxes, so I offered to get her a cart to make it easier. Instead, she suggested I carry it to her car.

The guys that guard the doors to prevent theft give me that smirk as I walked outside. I think they chuckled a bit once I was out of listening range. She pointed our her car and popped the trunk. I helped her pack it in, and that was that.

Still, it was just a bit awkward. Then again, it was the first time that I carried anything for a customer outside of the store. Maybe that's why I felt uneasy. But once I was back inside, of course I was joking with my co-workers.

It was a really fun night. Watched Fight Club for a little bit, and I got to watch Red Eye. I'll probably snack on something and then pass out. I'm off tomorrow. And I don't go in until 5PM on Monday.

Hump Night

It was just another slow day. In fact, it's supposed to be a slow week. Everyone blew their paycheck last Friday, so no one is spending a dime this week. It means that I do more standing around, and that let's my mind wander.

The first thing I did was help one of my coworkers. I hadn't really talker to her before, but I've noticed her. She's a bit taller than me, and very slender. She's cute. She name-dropped a particular video game, and mentioned a laptop. So, she get's bonus points in my book. Besides, taller chics have longer legs.

Other than that, there wasn't anything memorable. I came home, watched some TV, and ate a pizza. Now I'm in my room and listening to Radiohead. Real original, I know.

Still, I just have to make it through tomorrow. Then I'm going to DoubleDave's to watch the Cowboys game. I'll be able to stay up since I'm off Friday. Fun nights.

By the which, I'm thinking about rewaring my 'fans' out there. Still thinking of how though...

Almost Wednesday

It was really slow today, and that's odd considering that all of the new movies and music came out today. Usually there's a good flow towards the media department, and then it trickles to my department. But there wasn't much.

There were plenty of funny things going on though. I helped this one lady, and she wasn't bad looking. In fact, I'd rate her a seven, which is pretty high on my scale. As soon as I walked away from her, one of my coworkers walked up to her and tried to play it smooth. I cracked up just a bit. And then some chic that works with us came in on her day off. Another coworker walked right up to her and mentioned something about a phone number and a hookup.

I don't think there's anyone at work that I would consider dating. Either they're taken, or they're too young. Besides, things get awkward if it doesn't work out.

My voice isn't back yet either. It's getting close, but people still ask if I'm feeling better.

Tomorrow is another long day. And Thursday. But I do get Friday off, which is a big plus. I have crap to take care of. By the which, I don't know when exactly, but I'm going to start using Google Talk again. I think. Unless there's a better IM out there.

Back Again

I figure it's time to start posting on a regular basis again. The holidays are almost over, and there's nothing else for me to do while everyone else does their thing.

These past few weeks have been hectic. My hours have been soaring, and it's spilling over into the only time I have free - the time that I am asleep. I'll have dreams where I'm at work, helping people or answering questions. It sucks. I'll wake up three time a night before my alarm goes off, and it isn't until the last dream that I finally escape. By then, the alarm is only five minutes away. I really only get 5 minutes of rest.

But my mind isn't working nearly as hard. It feels like my brain has been off for weeks. I mean, I haven't been required to do any critical thinking in a while. I'm not even motivated to analyze people, or their actions. Usually when I make new friends, I mark out every detail of the conversation. Not anymore. I'm too lazy.

I feel so comfortable now at [the place I work at.] The first week was weird becasue everyone kinda just kept walking. Now, they all stop and start talking to me. I know who likes what, and what to mention to each person. I know who the Cowboy fans are, and I know who doesn't like sports.

Either way, I need to be asleep in an hour I think. Better start winding down.

Quickly

So, I haven't written in a while. I figure I'll do at least a brief update.

Upper Respiratory Infection set in on Tuesday, and I had to call in sick on Wednesday. Thursday was ok, except that I yelled at my dad and left early in the afternoon. I went into work at 10:30AM today, even though the infection invaded my sinuses. I got out at 9PM, and my voice is nearly 100% gone.

Now I'm really tired. Going to sleep and see if my voice comes back in the morning.

Watch and Learn

I have a special list of movies. If I'm flipping through the channels, and one of those movies is on, I'll watch it. No matter what. Eurotrip is one such movie. It's hilarious, and it's always entertaining. Another is SuperTroopers. At this moment, it is on Comedy Central. Every time I watch it, I tell myself that I need to just buy the DVD. And I really should, because I don't think my dad has seen it.

I was checking out iTunes for new music. I forgot how much I miss Jazz Band. Well, I miss playing music in general. But my favorite songs are so laid back, and I still have the solos memorized. Miles, Coltrane, and Clifford Brown.

I'm feeling good again. With the 'smirk.' I know what's up. When my hair is freshly cut, and I'm wearing new shirts, I become a different person. Even in my work clothes, it doesn't matter. And I really think that it's easier for me to approach people now.

I still hate waking up in the morning. No matter how much sleep I get, my stomach still hates me. But I'll start taking my meds regularly to see if it helps. Before, I was taking them once a week, but it's supposed to be once a day. Meh.

Where to?

I had a purpose tonight. I logged onto blogger with the intention of writing a nice, long post.

But then I got distracted. And once that happened, I forgot my inspiration. I don't have the luxury of focusing on my 'muse.' I can't pinpoint a specific time in my life no matter what. There are no stories in my head that need to be typed.

So, I know exactly what any new reader is thinking. "Is this guy being forced to do anything? Why is he complaining about a hobby?"

I've been doing this since August of 2003. There were weeks when I didn't write one word. There were days that had multiple posts. I've hit my peaks, and I've reached some lows. But no matter what, I do my best to provide something intelligent, thought-provoking, or just entertaining.

Here's the problem. I've used up every last thing I can remember. I don't talk about people in my life, so that they may have their privacy as well. What's left? Do I reinvent myself? Do I create an alternate personality to liven up the place?

The only thing that's been on my mind lately is what I'm going to do in the future. I'll be sending out my resume again next month. The lease on this apartment runs up in March. Will I have a legitimate job by then? Should I move in with my parents until I'm financially stable? And if so, for how long? Could I really live like that?

So, first answer. I better damn well have a legit job by March. I'll be too pissed off at myself if I don't.

Second, moving in with my parents would help out in the long run. I could pay off my student loans in two years, possibly less. I could also build my credit and reduce my overall stress. However, I don't think that I could make it that long. After one month of living there, I would surely explode and lash out at all members of this family. The more I am with them, the more I realize that I am the different one. I guess that also answers the third question. And fourth question.

There are five people in my immediate family. 40% are the emotional type. The slightest, most trivial thing can set them off. They have no self-control, and they don't believe it's their fault. Another 40% are forced to retreat into the background. No one knows what's really going on.

And then there's me. I can be emotional, but I can control it. I can also be quiet enough to where no one knows I'm even there. I am a combination of both sides of this family. But that means I see the flaws in both sides. I hate it when people get emotional. And I hate it when I don't really know what's going on. That's why I really need to consider living elsewhere. Maybe in a different city. Maybe in a different state. I don't know.

Now I'm just rambling. That's enough. Better get some sleep so I can forget it all for nine hours.

Nowhere

I would write something, but I'm still living a boring life. I wake up, kill time, and go to work. That's the routine for most of the week. When I do have a day off, I don't do anything interesting. I just lay around and relax.

For example, I woke up around noon today. Then I sat down and played Guitar Hero 3 for an hour or two. I finally beat this one song on expert, and it had been frustrating me for quite a while. Then I got ready for work and left. Nothing happened at work, mainly because I was reorganizing the shelves and setting up new computers. I didn't help anyone that was remotely interesting. No cute girls. Nothing. No one.

I got home and watched TV for a bit. Then I started checking my usual sites. Now I'm here at my desk, just trying to think of something that made today unique. But there was nothing. I won't remember a thing about today.

I'm so tired of this warm weather. The high for tomorrow is 89. It's mid-November. Come on.

In a few posts, I've written about the one thing that keeps me superstitious. Tuesday the 13th. Everything bad happened to me on a Tuesday. And it was always the 13th day of the month. But today wasn't like that. Nothing bad happened. I kept waiting for it, and then the clock struck midnight. I was overly cautious for no reason.

But now my waiting is something different. I'm waiting for that one opportunity. Just standing by the door, listening, and waiting.

Meh.

Bor-ing

On the Fox Sports Network, they are airing the Hooter's Pageant. I'm really disappointed. Some of those girls look like they've spent too much time in the sun. Others look shiny...like plastic.

I finally get some time off. I've been going non-stop since last Friday. And nothing significant has been going on. I got quizzed by a supervisor the other night. It just focused on presentation and knowledge of items. Apparently I did fairly well. But I don't think it means much.

One of the chics that works there changed her hair. Looks really good.

I don't want to go to bed yet, but I'm feeling pretty tired. And I'm kinda boring right now. I'm limited to work, and sleep. Even my days off are uneventful. I went shopping the other day and picked up some shirts. But I didn't do anything else. I already mentioned the new phone. I have a few albums on it now. I had to buy a 1GB MicroSD card, and then set that up.

Oh well. Time to dream. Maybe I should talk about those more?

Upper

Just killing time until Friday. I get two days off in a row, and it's the better part of the weekend.

It was really quiet tonight. In fact, they decided that 2 of us could go home early. I volunteered since I was already feeling tired. I was also bored. So, I started checking the employee discount on some stuff. I used the general code, since I wasn't sure if my discount had kicked in. Yesterday still showed me as ineligible. Fortunately, I'm eligible now. So I picked up some stuff for my new phone.

Also did a little clothes shopping today. Bought a couple of shirts and some pants. I couldn't find a belt my size though. That's the most important thing that I'm missing, and I think I'm going to visit a more specialized store.

Meh. Boring.

Not Too Bad

I just put in 10 hours today. I woke up at 5:45AM, went to a 2-hour training session (that was well worth it), went home for an hour, and then went to work from noon to 8PM. I have to open tomorrow morning, so I really need to go to bed.

I've been venting about my frustration with my cell phone carrier. Well, I don't know how to explain it, but it was taken care of today, and all I had to do was answer 2 questions.

Some of our training sessions involve speeches from representatives of a particular brand. It can be anything, so long as it's electronic. Or just new. Well, I went to the cell phone speeches and looked for my carrier. I listened for the 30 minutes, and then they quizzed us. That's when I put it all together concerning the boxes on the table. Boxes that contained new cell phones. Those were for winners. And I'm a winner. They let me pick one out, so I got the new RAZR2 V9 from Motorola. I really lucked out this morning.

In fact, that really made the rest of my day. I had to deal with long-winded customers, but I was still happy. I had to deal with a flood of people in the afternoon because our weekly ad just came out, but I was still happy.

So, that's one problem I don't have to worry about now. And it means I'll be taking more pictures soon.

Rebirth of the Fool

I don't know what my deal is. Sometimes my thoughts don't match up with who I am.

I read another's blog, and I couldn't help but think to myself, "Really? Are you sure? Because I remember something much different. In fact, quite the opposite." I almost want to laugh at the 360 they pulled.

I'll try to put it as delicately as possible. I have respect for any person of faith. I understand how important religion can be. If it can influence someone to do the right thing, then I'm all for it. In my case, 13+ years of church developed my sense of right or wrong. If I were to start going again, I would just hear the same lesson. I get it already. Help those in need, and give freely.

I truly want to believe in the idea of a "born-again" individual. If it's possible for a person of corrupt ways to repent and change their lifestyle for the benefit of all, then why not encourage it? But then I think it would be a lie if one were to change over night. Or even in a week.

I tend to not give the benefit of the doubt to a person who claims to be "born-again." I don't like second chances. And I don't like the idea that a murderer can change his ways while waiting for an execution. I don't like the idea that simply asking for forgiveness is enough. There should be more involved.

Then again, I'm not much for apologies. I don't find much worth in the words, "I'm sorry." Less than half of the time, it's not sincere. How much effort does it really take?

So when I read about someone I knew, and how they've found their purpose in life, I tend to question their mental health. Life isn't a movie. Things don't get better instantly. Waiting for a sign is the best way to waste your time.

If you really believe that things are going to be handed to you simply because you're a good person now, then there's no reason to believe you are deserving. If you really want to be a decent human being, then that's reason enough for me to give my time. But if you're just trying to do good so you'll be rewarded, then I won't help your cause.

It's almost like I get this 'holier-than-thou' approach to things like this. It's not that I feel I'm better though. I just feel that the other person isn't worthy. Same thing? I hope not. Otherwise, it's another flaw to fix.

Returning

It's been a long time. But even in these past 8 days, nothing surprising or interesting has happened. It's been the same old story, and it's too boring.

Things are going well at [where I work.] My hours have been increasing each week, and that's a good thing. I'm still waiting for the [computer repair team] to get an opening. I've been doing small tasks for them, such as RAM upgrades and what-not. The biggest transition would involve the uniform.

I've written a few paragraphs about one particular female co-worker. Well, she left. Last week was her last. I guess it's better in the long run, since I don't really have to think about whether or not I should say something. I can just focus on how single I am, and weigh the pros and cons of it all. When I look at it that way, I feel content.

I was having a discussion with another co-worker, and I couldn't really remember why I hated some punk kid in high school. I mean, I knew why I disliked him, but I couldn't remember why I 'hated' him. It might have been because he was a teacher's pet, or a suck-up, or a liar. Maybe he tried to make fun of me once, and I put him in his place. I just remember that if no one were around, I would have kicked his ass.

It sucks that I didn't start blogging until my second year of college. I wish I could go back and write about high school. In my old age, I've forgotten too much. It consumed 4 years of my life, and I can remember a week's worth of events at most. If I had written more down, I would be able to answer questions that constantly bother me.

It's an odd thing. If you know what to search for, you'll find over 700 results that refer to me. But if you go just by my name, you won't find anything. I like that kind of privacy.

I'm almost done with my cell phone service provider. I'm probably going to switch. I'm ready for a new phone, and they want me to call to order it. I can't even use their stupid website. It doesn't make sense at all.

Still Not There

It was really odd last night. About one hour after I posted, I wanted to write more. There was something on my mind, but now I can't remember. I should have written a draft...

The weather was phenomenal today. The high was barely in the 60s. There was a north wind coming in at 15 mph. It felt like a warm winter day. We get plenty of those here in Austin.

I do remember one thing I wanted to write down. At work yesterday, the "cute chic" gave me a long stare. Well, longer than what I would expect. And with a smile. She was coming in through the store entrance, and the sun was shining through. If I were a movie director, it would have been a nice shot. But I'm not a director, so it didn't hold the same significance. Still, she's cute. So there's that...

I don't know. I can't remember much else. I just did some 'research,' and I'm surprised with what I found out. It's too bad that MySpace isn't cooperating with me on deleting my account. Maybe I should just add everyone back? Or just the people I want back?

And at some point, this blog is going to have some downtime. I want to put a new design up. I've been working on some templates, and it's a project to pass some time.

I Hate U2

So, that kind sucked. I worked 'til close last night, and then I had to be in for opening today. I ate lightly last night, but I woke up in the middle of the night feeling hungry. I drank some water and went back to sleep for another hour. It was a quick hour.

Showed up on time. Went through the usual morning routine. Clean things, turn on computers and monitors, and then wait for customers. It was busy at first, because there's always a handful of people waiting for the doors to open. After that initial rush, it gets very quiet. I killed time by checking items to see if we were out, or if there were some in storage.

The people that work with the new technology now get fancy leather binders. Or folders. I'm not sure, but they are leather. It has a bunch of notes, prices, and tips on what products go well with computers, or whatever. Feels weird to carry it around, but it also sets us apart from the other departments. I don't mind it. I use the tip sheets as scratch paper anyway.

About 10 minutes before I was supposed to punch out, some people I recognized from the other day walked in. They were trying to decide on what to get. After talking it out, and giving my personal opinion, they got 2 computers. But after completing checkout, it was 30 minutes past my scheduled end time. I was missing the Cowboys game. But I decided to put in some more hours and stick around. Well, I put in one more hour, not "hours."

After work, I walked over to some Smoothie place. I decided to get a peanut butter cup smoothie, and it was awesome. That was my breakfast/lunch. I'm still having a hard time eating before I go in for a morning shift. And I don't work a long enough shift to take a lunch break.

I picked up some Wendy's for dinner. Unfortunately, on the way back, I noticed that the sushi bar I've been waiting on finally opened. If I had known that, I would have picked up some Philly Rolls. But I'll just wait until lunch tomorrow. It's better if I try a new sushi place on my day off, just in case it doesn't work out with my stomach.

I'm off today, and I'm going to sleep in. Maybe 9 hours of sleep? I don't know. The latest I can sleep is about 11AM now. If I go to bed immediately, I'll get nearly 11 hours of sleep. That's way too much. Plus, a cold front is coming through tonight. When I wake up, I'm not going to want to get out of bed. Then again, it will be amazing outside. I might want to get out of bed once I realize that in the morning.

Observation #1

There's something I just have to say. I don't care if I hurt anyone's feelings. When I know the truth, I have to let others know.

There's a show on MTV called "A Shot at Love." The star is Tila Tequila, some chic who is only famous for being a MySpace whore. (Not in that she sleeps around, although I can't provide proof that she doesn't. She just has too many 'friends.')

She isn't hot. She isn't cute. She isn't attractive by any standard I use.

I could understand a show like this one if the woman in question were insanely hot. Or if she were amazingly beautiful. But they chose a dog-faced non-celebrity. She's too short, too thin, and her voice sucks. I wouldn't touch her even if someone paid me too.

By the way, I hear that Rachel McAdams is single now. I'd totally watch a show that had her as a star. Have you seen "Wedding Crashers?" She looked good. Real good.

I did OK today. I didn't make a fool out of myself or anything. Didn't do much talking. Just stood around. Apparently people don't shop on Friday nights. Well, they get another shot at me tomorrow night. Although, I am supposed to get some computer repair experience under my belt fairly soon. Can't wait until I'm called up to the big leagues.

Also, a guy came in and showed me the Sony Ericsson W580i. It's awesome. He played a song and showed me the Shake Control system. I don't know if that's the phone I'll get, or if I'll get a newer Sony Ericsson phone. There are some new ones coming out later this month and early next month. I can probably wait until then.

Off and On

Had my day off. I didn't do anything special though. Woke up near 11AM, did the usual routine, and watched TV. I saw the last half of "The Last Kiss." Definitely not into that movie. I do like how they used the f-bomb, but the last 20 minutes were just terrible.

I then switched to "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." That's still one of my favorite movies. I like the idea of having memories erased. But I also think if that service existed, I still wouldn't use it. It interests me more because I would be curious to see who erased me.

When I can't think of anything to write about, I just check what I was doing a year ago. Last year, on this day, a cold front passed through. I thought it was interesting because a cold front just passed through today as well. I don't know anything about weather patterns. Maybe it's a coincidence, or it could be something that just happens every year, no matter what.

Around this time in 2003, I went to a wedding. I remember a few things, but mostly that it was a nice hotel, and I went out to eat afterwards. I do remember 2 other details though. I should mention that most of the people in attendence at that wedding were people I knew from church. Yes, a long, long time ago, I went to church. It was every Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday. When I turned 12 or so, it was just every Sunday and Wednesday. By the time I was 14, it was just on Sunday. I don't remmeber exactly when I stopped going, but I didn't miss it. It was on repeat mode, and I don't need anyone telling me what's good and bad.

Either way, there were 2 chics there. I had known one since I was 7, and the other since I was 10 or so. I'm just guessing on the age. The first came up to me and wanted to talk for a bit. So we found a table and went over our pasts. I don't remember much about what was said, but she did seem interested. After our conversation ran its course, her friend showed up at our table. So we started talking about what we were planning to do with our lives. She was going to become a nurse, and I was still in Electrical Engineering at that point. She was interested as well.

I think that they wanted to keep in touch. They understood that I called Austin home, but it's almost as if they were hoping I would be back in Dallas at some point. I mean, at the time it was my best option. Since that night, I haven't talked to either.

I'm working from 4PM to close tomorrow. The day goes by fast, so I don't think I'll suffer or anything. Honestly, it's really easy. But I have to watch some DVDs or something about training. It's going to suck. But at least I'm paid to do it. That's all that matters right now.

For the first time in a long time, I'm going to sign onto AIM. Of course I'll change my status to away, but I'll get to see how many people still get on.

Eh, still boring. They moved one of my shows to an hour later. I don't feel like killing 2 hours when I could go to sleep now. It could be worse. I could eat junk food when I'm bored.

Do What?

I sat down in front of my computer right after listening to some new music. Usually, this is the time when my creativity peaks and I can just 'go.'

For some reason, it's all blocked out. My mind is completely blank. Everything is off. But I feel fine. I don't think anything is missing. I'm not forgetting anything.

We were able to open windows today. The weather people said the high was going to be in the mid-80s, but it barely made it to the mid-70s. I took advantage and went to The Domain. It's basically a community of stores with apartments stacked on top. I think it's amazing. And I'm not talking about cheap stores, either. I ventured into the Sony Style store, the Apple store, and the Lucky Brand Jeans store. For the ladies, there is a Tiffany & Co, Louis Vitton, and Juicy Couture. I didn't recognize some of the names though. But I picked up some info on the apartments and the monthly rates for those. If I were to get a 1-bed, 1-bath, I would be paying over $900 a month. Once I get that real job, it's a place I'm going to consider.

I've been trying to delete my MySpace account for at least a week now. I hit the button, confirm, confirm again, and then wait for an email. But the email never shows up. Just another reason I don't like MySpace.

Something good is bound to happen. Just gotta keep my eyes open.

A Week Ago

Another fun day. I had 2 medium sales, and that's not bad for 5 hours of work. I guess I really shouldn't call them 'sales' since I'm not commissioned. I'll say that I did a good job of providing information to customers and they went with what I advised.

Was a little weird though. One of the guys that works in the section next to mine started asking me about where I came from and stuff. And I don't mind telling the basics. However, one of his questions was, "So, did you get a lot of [tail] in high school?" He didn't say 'tail.' I nervously looked around to make sure a supervisor didn't hear him. But honestly, I wasn't offended or anything. I was just caught off guard. Was funny though.

I wasn't scheduled to have many hours this week. I was only going to have 13. But before I left, the supervisor pulled me aside and asked if I wanted more time. He said he's been impressed with how fast I'm catching on, so he wants me to work the floor more. Of course, I understand that more hours is a good thing. So instead of 4 days off this week, I'll have 2 days off. I think I'm getting 10 more hours. So it's good. The week after is going to be the most though, at least from what I remember. I think I go in every day that week. But, depending on who is coming down when, I'll have to get some days off.

The day I had training, I only got 5 hours and 40 minutes of sleep. But I felt finei n the morning. Last night, I got 7 hours and 40 minutes of sleep. And I felt terrible this morning. It doesn't make too much sense to me. I know it has to do with the 'sleep cycle.' Each person has one, and it's a different time length for everyone. If we wake up at the right time in the cycle, we feel fine. Eh, I'll have to Google it to get better information. I think mine is based on 1 hour 15 minute cycles. Or not. I can't remember.

I'm checking out the new Radiohead CD finally. It's nice so far, but I'm only 4 tracks in and there's 10 total. They finally have an album version of "Nude." It was called "Big Ideas" originally, and it's a great song. However, the live version from Salamanca is the best I've heard. I don't think I have it anymore, but I'll find it again.

I go in for the night shift tomorrow. Late afternoon to close. Less than 5 hours. But it is the busiest time, so things should move by quickly. But it also means I don't have to wake up so early. I like that.

By the way, remind me to do a post on why I think the platypus is the best animal ever.

Two-A-Days

Yesterday went fairly well. I had a 7-hour shift, so I was supposed to have a lunch break, but I really didn't think about it. 4 hours went by, and I was still feeling ok. After another hour, I still felt ok. So, I never did take my 30 minute break. Needless to say, I was famished when I did get home.

There was one good thing that happened on my shift, but there was also one bad thing. First, the bad. Right before I punched out, my supervisor informed me that there was going to be a meeting in the morning. 6:30AM...in the morning. It was going to be a morning filled with sleep.

As I mentioned, there was something good. I moved two computer packages, but only one was under my name. I didn't have a login for the register when I did the first. Luckily, the bigger package was in the afternoon, after I got a password.

So I got almost 6 hours of sleep before I got ready for the meeting. A weird thing happened, and it was nothing anyone could predict. Here, I'll give you a chance to guess...

...

A store from my old hometown was shown as an example. One chic said, "Woo!" Some guy next to her said, "You're the only person I know from there." I quietly raised me hand and said that I was from there as well.

Turns out we went to the same high school.

And graduated in the same year.

I didn't know her during that time. I was the quiet type, so I barely knew 20% of my class. Was weird, but eh.

And of course, at the meeting the supervisor called me out in front of the group and mentioned my sale. I just smiled and looked down.

Battery going low on the laptop. Gotta sleep soon anyway.

Keep Going

I know, I just posted about 5 hours ago. But there's some stuff I left out because I was really out of it.

My brain screwed me over this morning. While I was being dropped off at work, I went to close the car door. Unfortunately, I had my hand in the wrong place. I messed up my left index finger. So yea, I've been re-typing almost everything today. It's green on one side, and there's a red line on the other. I don't think it's broken, so I'm not worried. If it falls off, I'll put it on some ice and see a doctor.

On the ride back home, we left the windows down. It's starting to get cooler, and the wind feels amazing. I've mentioned how I associate memories with music. But there are some memories that I associate with temperatures. But it isn't the type where I think, "Oh, that was cool, and it's exactly 78 degrees." I don't concentrate on the events, and I don't focus on the weather. It's involuntary. And I also think that my memory of temperature is incredibly precise.

I can't wait until December. Just a rainy day in December. It's all I want right now.

But a poker tournament would be nice too.

"If beauty were a donkey with a keg, I'd tap that ass."

Numero Dos

It was another interesting day. I got more time with the ear piece and walkie-talkie. I was even left alone in the computer section for a while. Helped with a few sales, learned a bit more about the store, and met more people.

I get the feeling that the supervisors are preparing me for something better. I got a few compliments, and talks of 'potential.' From the group of people that came in with me, they are giving me the most opportunity in terms of experience with sales, and getting certified in more areas. But I am the oldest, so it makes sense.

Whenever I go somewhere new, I make note of the chics. I figure out which are the hottest, who is the cutest, and so on. Well, I figured all of that out on my first day. But I'm a shy one, so I didn't walk up and initiate anything. Instead, she came up to me and introduced herself. I don't know what the policies are, but I am interested. I know, I know. It's the same rule I had in the dorm. "Don't mess with anyone you'll be seeing on a daily basis. Things get awkward." So I'll just take it easy for now.

When I'm on my way to work, I get the same feeling from when I would go back to school. During my sophomore year, I would get nervous on the first morning back from summer or winter vacation. My stomach would start hurting, and I would start shaking. I wouldn't be able to eat either. But once I get there, I feel fine and comfortable. I step through those doors, and everything is alright. I don't know what the cause is, but it's weird.

Eh, it'll fix itself. Things are smooth right now, and that's all I can ask for.

By the way, I remember approving Reese's Fastbreak candy bar. Well, I noticed a Reese's Whipped at Walgreens the other day. They are awesome. I recommend them as well.

Workforce

Today was just the first day. Walking around, learning the ins and outs, and dealing with customers. The first part of the day was spent shadowing someone with experience. Then the supervisor showed up, and we shadowed him.

We went on break around noon. Just a quick 15 minutes. Afterwards, he started us on some exercises that certify you as an expert in a specific field. I passed the tests necessary to be computer-certified. (Just as a reference, I was told that my supervisor hasn't been certified yet.)

I was also contacted by the group of employees that deal with computer repairs and such. One of the supervisors pulled me aside. He mentioned that when he has free time, he'll get me some experience with computer repairs. He mentioned that as soon as something opens up in his section, he's going to let me know. And honestly, that's where I want to be. I want to be at the counter, asking people what's wrong, and diagnosing. (For those that watch "House," that is how I am with computers. Well, electronics in general. I study, I plot it out, and then I fix it. But the problem has to be in front of me. I suck at fixing things over the phone.)

I'm fairly happy. It was 6 hours, but it went by fast. I go in for another 6 hours tomorrow. I'll need to do a better job of eating before I go in. I wasn't able to eat before I went in today, and it started affecting me about 3 hours in. Luckily I had some gum, and I drank plenty of water. When I got home, I immediately ate dinner.

But I'll wake up earlier tomorrow, and I know I'll be hungry at the right time.

Starter

First day went ok. Just some training. Of course that meant bad videos and a tour of the store. Yea, because I've never been to that store. And I have no idea what respect is. Oh well, I was able to turn my brain off for a while.

I was the oldest 'recruit.' It was a little awkward, but I know I didn't make any enemies. One chic is definitely going to be there temporarily. She kept mentioning her old job, and she hated that we paid for our shirts. Come on, it was mentioned in the first interview. I'll give her a couple of weeks. The other two seem like normal kids. Or teens. Or adults. Whichever.

But I know the manager is already keeping an eye on me. Not in, "Oh, he's about to steal something!" More like, "This guy knows what he's doing." I know about the difference between 1080i and 1080p. I know about the difference between regular digital cameras and digital SLRs. I know which mp3 players are overrated. And if you put a computer in front of me, I'll tell you why you need it. I'll be fine.

My first day is Tuesday. I go in for 6 hours. Wednesday is another 6 hours. Friday is 7 hours. Once I get through it, I know I'll be fine. Especially since I'm working during the hours that have the least amount of customers. No on is going to be there on a weekday before 3PM. So that leaves 6 hours that might be real busy. But that's just for this week.

It's a start, but I'm still looking for that real job. A career. I know I'll find one eventually. Or I'll build a product that sells. I don't know. For the longest time, I've had a feeling that I'll eventually do something great. Maybe it involves poker, or some really cool software. I could improve an algorithm by 5% and get a job anywhere I want afterwards. I don't know what it is that I'll do, but I'll do it.

I'll bet on poker.

West Coast Foolery

I've been saying it all along. USC is overrated.

They just lost to Stanford. Before today, Stanford was 1 - 3.

When USC and Texas met in the Rose Bowl, every college football analyst was saying that USC was the best team of all time. ESPN had many different polls, and even a show that ranked the best teams. They didn't give Texas a chance to win, and Vince Young proved them wrong.

Starting at the beginning of the season, Corso and his lover Herbstreit talked about how USC's defense might be the best ever. They were returning 10 of 11 starters. It was supposed to be faster and stronger than ever.

I'm tired of Pete Carroll. He got lucky and recruited 2 Heisman winners. (Well, Bush's shouldn't count since the West Coast bias took Vince out of it.) His system doesn't work. His running backs leave. And the rest of the PAC-10 has caught up.

That's 1 loss for USC this season. There's still 2 more to go.

Jobby Job

I made links a bit more visible. Most people use an underline, but that's lame. I'll go with the overline. Besides, it looks like a halo, so I like it.

I went and got a part-time job while I'm looking for a real job. I can't sit around and wait for companies to come to me. So, I applied with [Electronics Store.] (I'm not going to say which because I don't know how they feel about bloggers. I can only say that they are everywhere, and it's 'better' than saying "good bye.") I did my online application early Thursday morning, heard back from them about 6 hours later, and went in for an interview that Friday. I had my second interview on Wednesday, and he offered me the job. It's simple stuff, and it's part-time. If they have me working during the evenings, I'll be happy for now.

Orientation is Sunday at noon. I have no idea how long it's going to take, but at least it's not early in the morning. Hopefully it just involves watching some video, doing some roleplay, and going home. 2 hours? 4 hours? I dunno.

It's really good timing though. There's a rumor floating around about a new PS3 at a lower price. I'll have easy access to it when it comes out. I'll also have easy access to Guitar Hero 3, and Rock Band.

But after 2 or 3 months, I'll send out my resume again. But at least I'll have some more work experience this time. And hopefully a big company will bite.

"If beauty were a napkin, I'd wipe my mouth with her."

Quick Sports Note

Bob Sturm is one of the hosts from BaD Radio, which is a show on 1310AM The Ticket. He has a blog that mostly links to other articles. Every now and then, he offers his personal opinion and some stats. A few posts ago, I mentioned how Tom Brady was overrated, and Brett Favre was more deserving of an MVP nod.

Well, today he brought up a stat about the 4 remaining undefeated teams.

Patriots Opponents Record: 4-12
Packers Opponents Record: 5-11
Colts Opponents Record: 6-8
Cowboys Opponents Record: 3-13

So far, the Packers have faced a tougher schedule than the Patriots. These stats back up my assessment. However, it also makes me realize that Peyton Manning is just as deserving. The only thing I can offer is that Peyton has 2 pro-bowl caliber wide receivers, and a good tight end. Favre only has 1 wide receiver.

My MVP list goes:

Brett Favre
Peyton Manning
Tony Romo

Brady blows.

Nearly Full Day

How about something that isn't sports-related?

It's been a very interesting day. I woke up at 11:30AM, and it was totally on purpose. I did the usual wake-up routine. Stop iTunes, brush teeth, shower, dress, check NetVibes, turn off computer, and get something to drink. I laid around for an hour while watching TV. I can't remember what exactly I watched in the beginning. But I ended up on "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind" around 2PM. Watched that for a little bit, and then headed out.

Eventually got to my parents' house. I didn't eat breakfast, so I was already hungry by this point. Now, I know that I don't eat the healthiest things, but I'm fortunate to have an inhuman metabolism. I can lose weight by eating ice cream and downing soda. It doesn't make sense. So, I ate 3 Dulce de Leche cookies as a snack. Those things are awesome. But I still got hungry an hour later. By this time, we had already decided that we were going to DoubleDave's. Tonight is one of the 3 nights a week that the have a buffet. I loaded up on Pepperoni Rolls.

Everyone remembers things differently. Some people remember better if they write it down. Others are blessed with a photographic memory. Well, my memory is attached to two other senses. I have an easy time remembering things that I hear, and things that I smell. While I was at DoubleDave's, a woman walked by me. But whatever lotion or perfume she was wearing smelled very familiar. I remembered it form middle school. I can't think of a good way to descibe the smell, but I'll try. It's full, soft, and sweet. Almost like a combination of vanilla, milk, and honey. It starts at the tip of your nose, and then spreads throughout. It isn't subtle, but it doesn't make you flinch. After one moment, it makes you wish everything smelled that good.

I'm going to help my mom watch the kids tomorrow, so I decided to spend the night at my parents' house. So I went by the apartment and picked up a change of clothes. (As my dad was pulling up, I noticed 3 attractive females in bathing suits. I had never seen them before, but I hope I see them again.) We watched some shows that my parents recorded, and everything was pretty quiet.

They went to bed at 10:30PM, and I've been searching the channels for a while now. Started with Family Guy, skipped over half of an hour, watched Bleach, and then started a poker game. Finished 1st. By that time, Red Eye had started, so I watched that. (Best quote from today's: "If beauty and brains were a briefcase, I'd put my business in her.")

And then I really lucked out. I don't know how many people know about Fuse, but they have a 30-minute show called "Loaded." It's just a block of music videos from a single artist. The first, which started at 2AM, was dedicated to Stone Temple Pilots. I was really hoping they would show the video for Sour Girl, just because it's probably my favorite song from them. They did play:

"Vasoline"
"Interstate Love Song"
"Sex Type Thing"
"Creep"
"Big Bang Baby"

And now, as I end this post, the next Loaded is dedicated to Red Hot Chili Peppers. So far, they've aired:

"Otherside"
"Breaking The Girl"
"Fortune Faded"
"Hump De Bump"
"Under The Bridge"

I really hope they show "Scar Tissue." That song reminds me of my last high school summer. My brother was a courier, and I would ride around with him downtown. At the time, Pat was a courier for the same company. Each driver had a radio for communication, and we would crack up.

While there isn't much left for me in Dallas, I will miss certain areas of North Dallas. Farmers Branch and Addison come to mind. I think of Farmers Bracnh because while I was on a run with my bro, we spotted a chic in a bikini. She must have been in her early 20s, but she was extremely hot. We purposely made a U-turn to get a better look. I think of Addison because there are some great restaurants there. Pastazio's Pizza was amazing.

And if you happen to be near Northpark Mall, I definitely recommend Piggy Pies. It isn't a very big place, and it only has a small TV for entertainment, but the food is excellent.

Nope, they didn't air "Scar Tissue."

Sports Kick

Ron Jaworski just said that Tom Brady is the MVP frontrunner right now.

Somebody better give him a drug test.

Tom Brady has 2 quality receivers, and 1 receiver that is top 3 in the league. He has an up-and-coming running back, and an offensive line that does the job right. In other words, Tom Brady has many, many tools to help him win games.

But I would suggest that Brett Favre is the MVP of the league so far. His team is undefeated, and he is playing very well. He may not have the QB rating that Brady has. But Brett Favre is doing just as well with less offensive weapons around him. Besides Donald Driver, who does Brett Favre really have?

Tom Brady is projected to have 117 pass attempts for the season at the end of tonight. Brett Favre has 170 pass attempts. Obviously, Brett Favre is the main man for Green Bay.

And for those who think that the MVP should go to the best player on the best team, there is no way to say that the Patriots are better than Green Bay. Sure, the AFC has been better than the NFC over the past few years, but it's a new year. San Diego has dropped to the bottom, Kansas City is a joke, and besides the obvious teams (Indy and New England), who really looks Super Bowl ready? As I write this, there are 2 undefeated teams in the AFC, and 2 undefeated teams in the NFC. After those teams, it's a toss-up for the next tier.

The best team that New England will have faced by the beginning of next week is the team they are playing right now. Cincinnati is their toughest opponent through week 4. However, the best overall defense they have faced is ranked 25th in the league, which was San Diego. The other defenses ranked 28th, 30th, and 32nd.

Green Bay has faced much tougher defenses. The 4 defenses that Green Bay has played against are ranked 7th, 16th, 18th, and 25th. So, Brett Favre has faced much tougher defenses than Tom Brady has.

Oh, but I should only consider pass defense rankings since we're talking about quarterbacks? Well, Brett Favre has faced 2 defenses that are ranked 20th or higher against the pass. Tom Brady has only faced 1 defense that is ranked above 25.

Brett Favre is better than Tom Brady. He deserves an MVP nod more than Brady.

Some Commentary

I just read this story from the USA Today about the USA's Women's soccer team. While I didn't watch the consolation match, I still kept up with what was going on.

When the coach decided to bench Hope Solo so he could put in a 'veteran' goalie, I completely disagreed. In sports, coaches and the general media put too much importance on experience. I know that you can't have a team full of rookies, but you don't need your veterans to play. You need them to provide support and give advice when necessary.

Brazil torched the US. 4 goals were allowed, but only 3 were by Brazil. But that's more goals than were allowed by Solo in the past 298 minutes of game time. The coach should have taken a note from the NHL. You start the hot goalkeeper. (I mean 'hot' as in 'unstoppable,' not as in 'wow, she's hot!' I mean, she's kinda cute...for a soccer player...)

After the game, Solo made some comments that undoubtedly hurt some feelings. But the truth hurts. Her main point was that if she were playing, she would have stopped those goals. She mentioned that she disagreed with the coach's decision, and that they whouldn't choose their players based on achievements from years ago. While I cannot definitely say she would have stopped those goals, I completely agree on her second point.

But then I read this article, and the team's reaction disgusts me. They shunned her and pratically put her in the corner. She was not allowed to have meals with the team, or even practice with the team. If I were in Solo's shoes, I would have left the team immediately after this treatment. After one minute of isolation, I would have been on a plane back to the US. She carried that team through the tournament up until she was benched. And then she's treated like crap.

Sure, the US won 3rd place. But that's just a fancy term for "loser to another loser." The coach screwed things up, and he should be held accountable. But these last two things bug me the most.

"As Sunday's 4-1 rout of Norway drew to a close, Lilly left the field in the waning moments and paused to embrace Scurry and hand her the captain's armband."

While Scurry should be consoled for sucking so bad against Brazil, it is a slap in the face to Solo.

"'I'd like to think that I'd like to forgive her,' Wambach said."

What the hell does that mean? Maybe I'll possibly forgive her? Seriously. When the US played North Korea, there was so much talk about how this team has great chemistry and gets along really well. But then you get a statement like that. It makes me believe that these are a bunch of high school drama creating teens. That quote is something you would hear on "The Hills."

By the way, that show is absolutely terrible. I watched 2 minutes (don't ask me why), and it made me feel dumber. My brain turned to mush.

Sleep Soon

Just setup my voice mail. I hate it, but it's kind of necessary right now. I don't want to miss any important phone calls, or give the impressions that I do not want to be contacted. But then I also need to get on that "Do Not Call" list. It's supposed to be easy, so why not...

Going to bed early tonight because there's a Longhorn game on at 2:30PM. I want to wake up at 1PM. And then on Sunday, the Cowboy game is at noon, so I'll need to get some sleep then also.

No MySpace rant tonight. It's been so long that I've cooled down. I haven't sign in for over a week now. I don't care anymore, and it's a nice feeling. I'm still on good terms with Facebook. But I would like to get more people to sign up with Pownce. I really like how you can transfer file on it.

Top Four List

I'm not even going to flip a coin. I'll just assume it will come up tails.

It's a little weird how I remember things from my first three years of high school, but I have a difficult time remembering anything from my last year. Well, there are some things that I can't forget, but I try hard to do so.

I led a girl on. Kind of. She became interested in me, even though she had never met me before. I wasn't really attracted to her, but I thought she was nice. So I hung out with her and things weren't awkward. Towards the end of September, another girl tried to grab my attention. She was very outspoken about how she liked me, and I thought it would be interesting to see how things went.

At the time, I had a bench to myself on one of the buses we used for football games. She decided to start sitting next to me. I didn't object, and figured it would be nice to have some female company. She was into me, and it seemed like it would be good. Really good.

In October, it started to get cold, which was rather early for Dallas. So everyone brought a jacket or a blanket for our time in the stands. She choose to bring a blanket. And she chose to use it on the bus as well. Needless to say, blankets have another function besides keeping someone from feeling cold. (Mistake #1)

I made plans to spend time with her one afternoon. At her place. With her parents gone. (Mistake #2)

I dumped her the next week. (...No, that wasn't a mistake. Maybe it was bad on my part, but it wasn't a mistake.)

The first girl I mentioned and I went to see a movie together. (Mistake #3)

I never gave her the "let's be friends" speech. (Mistake #4)

I made a few other mistakes that I don't want to mention. They are things that no one knows. Those that I listed above are known to at least a few. That's why I don't feel uncomfortable listing them out online.

A while back, I was trying to figure out what my weekends were like. I remember that my Fridays ran long, and that I stayed up pretty late. But it wasn't until a day ago that I remembered what happened on Saturdays. I would wake up around noon, and just search for anything to watch. If there was nothing on TV, I would go to the computer and listen to music. If that was too boring, I would call people up. Or at least that's what popped into my mind.

I also had a Playstation by that time, so that kept me busy on the weekend. (I'd spend anywhere from 12 to 20 hours a weekend with that Playstation. Now, not so much.)

Either way, it's late again, and I don't feel like staying up until 1PM.

"If talent were karaoke, I'd get drunk and then do her."

Third Year

Before I flip that coin, just want to mention that I fell asleep around 1:30PM. Woke up at 6:30PM. I should be tired right now, but I'm not. Real fun.

Alright, so MySpace rant or Summer '00 to Spring '01.

I kid you not, it's tails again.

Junior year schedule:
Band
Spanish II
Speech/Sociology (?)
English III
AP US History
AP Pre-Calculus
Physics I

Right at the end of my sophomore year, there was a school trip for those students who passed that final TAAS test. (A stupid standardized test.) We all went to Six Flags. I rode my first roller coaster, but I didn't do much after that. It was fairly hot and I started to get dehydrated. I went towards the entrance and saw a friend of mine. She introduced me to a friend of hers. We talked a bit then, and we decided to keep in touch over the summer. You know, phone calls, emails, and IM. But a weird thing happened a week or two later.

I received a random IM from a girl in the french horn section. Talked a bit before they said that it wasn't who I thought it was. There was a bit of a guessing game, but I figured it out. It was another chic from band. It had me a bit confused, but we kept talking anyway. That conversation went from nearly 6PM to 1AM. She wanted to talk again the next day, so that was another 7-hour talk.

Now, before this, we had never talked or anything. Since we were in band and came in the same year, I did notice who she was. At the time, I considered her to be cute. So there was a small amount of attraction from my end. Towards the middle of the second IM conversation, I had already told her about this. It got her interest, so by the end of the night, I had her number.

I would say that from the middle of June to the beginning of August, I spent 40 hours a week on the phone with her. Everything was comfortable, and we got to know each other. We were looking forward to band camp, but I was rather nervous. Up to that point, I just kept thinking about, "Do I go straight to her? Do I hang out with her? Should I just ease in slowly?"

One of the more interesting band camp sessions involved my 'initiation' into a club. This club brought in two new members each year, and the only requirements were that you had to be accepted by the other members, and you had to do something embarrassing. It was determined that I had to serenade one of the freshman. The chic I had been talking to knew in advance what was going to happen, and it was my job to get her attention before I did it so she could laugh at me. (Yea, real nice.) I didn't. So, everyone else got to see my sing "Light My Fire" to one of the cuter freshmen.

I was drinking every other night at this point. It was only a drink or two at a time, and it was only for relaxation. One night, she called me and I was on that second drink. She noticed I was talking way more than usual. (Which means I was talking more than 25% of the time.) She wanted me to quit drinking, and so I did. (Ugh, the things I do for people...)

Either way, we kept talking all the way through until UIL, which was the middle of the October. The morning before, a friend and I went to a flower shop. We hid the purchases at another friend's house for easy access the morning of. I totally caught her off guard, and she really opened up to me. Funny thing is...

She had some secrets. She had told me she was single, but she wasn't. I forgot how I found out, but things got very tense. I immediately stopped talking to her. I didn't even want an explanation. I went along my way for the next week before I was called down to the guidance counselor's office. She was sitting in there, and had manipulated her counselor to get me in there as well. The counselor left the room and let her talk to me.

I don't remember exactly what was said, but there was an apology in there somewhere. And not one of those look down at the floor and say, "I'm sorry." It was eye-to-eye, with tears running down her face, and she was practically down on her knees. I happen to be a forgiving person, and I figured that she was sincere. We started over, and things kept moving along. One of the things she had promised me was that she was going to dump her current boyfriend.

I met her sister in December, and we randomly ended up at a band dance that night. The next day, I met her parents. Her parents really liked me, and everything was good.

However, over the winter break, we didn't spend anytime together. We didn't even talk on the phone for more than 5 minutes. I got the feeling that she was avoiding me. So I stopped trying, and just did my own thing. I figured some space was healthy. I looked forward to the start of the new year and getting things going again. When school did start back up again, she was real quiet with me. She didn't even look at me. It wasn't until a few days later that her best friend came up to me and pulled me aside.

So, there was a rumor going around that Girl B and I were hooking up behind Girl A's back. We immediately straightened things out, but it was still awkward. Meanwhile, I found out that Girl A still had a boyfriend. So, I ended it.

I know it's a flaw of mine, but it isn't one I care to fix. When I trust someone, it is with complete faith in that person. No matter what, my faith in them could not be budged. But that's only from external forces. If you betray that trust in anyway, there is no, "Goodbye." I just disappear. Before an apology can leave their lips, I'm already too far away to hear it.

That spring semester was not very fun. I beat myself up over my poor judgment, and it affected me physically. My blood pressure shot up, and I missed a week of school because of it. I just remember spending that week at home and quietly figuring it all out. When I have a problem, I deal with it head on. I start thinking about it, and I don't stop until it's resolved.

She tried to get me back by dumping her boyfriend and saying "love" again. But it was all third-party information, since I was never around her. She waited for me, and hoped that I would come back. But nope, I didn't. My mind was made up, and I looked elsewhere.

That decision set the path for me. I became even more withdrawn, but I had a new fire inside me. I did whatever I wanted. I made my own decisions without consulting anyone. I grew up very quickly. That May, I tried out for drum major. A week later, they made the announcement, and I was 2nd Drum Major. I think that was the day she quit band.

But if there were any positives out of that school year, it was 2 friendships in particular. It was the maturity I gained. It was the new self-confidence I gained after learning that, "Hey, some chics want me." It wasn't a great year, but it was still important.

So, tomorrow is a MySpace rant or the mistakes I made my senior year.

"If beauty were a stationary bike, she'd be between my legs right now."

To The Point

I'm starting a little late tonight, so I'm not going to go with either of the topics I mentioned yesterday. That will have to wait. I'm a bit tired, but I'm supposed to head over to my parents in 2 hours.

If you didn't know, I'm a big Guitar Hero fan. I'm actually pretty good. Well, good enough to win a local tournament earlier this year. While Guitar Hero 3 is coming out next month, I'm looking forward to Rock Band just a bit more. The idea of playing drums on a song is exciting to me. I mention this because the company behind Rock Band is touring the US with a stage. You get a band together, play the game, and compete against other bands. I can definitely hold my own on guitar, but I'll need at least another guitar player and a drummer. I'm sure my bro can fill in on guitar, since he's getting pretty good. If their available, and if I buy Rock Band the day it comes out, I have person in mind to be the drummer. If they're available. Yes, the band will need a singer, but I'm sure I can handle that and playing guitar at the same time. Just to test myself, I put in the original Guitar Hero and played "No One Knows." I sang along, and I only messed up a little bit. The tour doesn't get to Austin until December, so I have time.


I really like that show "Red Eye." There's so much dark humor, and the guests are either hot or extremely funny. When the host introduces the panel, he always uses the same formula...

"If beauty were Vienna sausages, I would eat her in the can."
"If beauty were a shoe, I'd make sure her tongue was in the right place, and then tie her up."
"If intelligence were a soap dispenser, I'd pump her in the bathroom."
"If cuteness were a washing machine, I'd put a dirty load in her."

Maybe offensive to some, but I think it's funny.

Second Bit

So, last night I determined the two topics I would choose from. MySpace rant, or my transition from freshman to sophomore.

Coin flip...tails again? There is a 12.5% chance of flipping 'tails' three times in a row. However, that didn't mean I had a 12.5% chance of flipping 'tails' this specific time. Still 50-50.

My freshman year really started at the beginning of August 1998. Those of us who were going to be in band had to meet a little early for freshman orientation. That was code for 'summer band practice.' We had to get fitted for uniforms, check out an instrument, and get ready for what the season would bring. We didn't spend the first day outside, because it would have been the perfect situation for kids to faint. So we learned how to march in the gym.

Here's my attempt at listing my freshman classes:

AP Biology
Band
Computer Applications
English I
AP Geometry
AP World Geography
???

Now that I'm trying to remember, I can't. Maybe I have band and biology switched. Was band in the afternoon? I know for sure 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th period are all right. Biology was in the morning for sure. Didn't we have to take health and psychology? That was probably 7th period.

Either way, I can only remember what I was like. I had my two good friends, and I didn't talk to many other people. Well, there was a group of people I knew from middle school, so I talked to them also. Of course, I'm talking about the 'smart kids.' I had 3 friggin' AP classes, so it only makes sense.

I was a little more extrovert during health, only because there were a few cute chics in there. One in particular started talking to me, and she was probably the best chic in that class. After roll was taken, she would come sit next to me. If they ever showed a video, we usually just ignored it.

I wasn't nearly that talkative during band. But I got to know the people in my section, and they were all female. In fact, I was the only guy playing french horn that entire year. It was a little weird, but they made sure I was comfortable and having fun.

Once the first year was under my belt, I no longer felt nervous or anxious about school. I felt like I had established my reputation and who I was. The only things that needed to change were my hair style, my clothes, and my lack of communication. So, in the 2 months between the end of the year and the beginning of the next band camp, I fixed it all. My hair was parted on the left before, and I changed it to the middle. I wore very interesting colors before, but then I started wearing carpenter pants more often. I also learned how to start conversations and get people to be interested in me.

So when I came back the next year, people looked at me different. The big glasses and goofy hair were gone. I went up to people and got to know them. Sure, some of them weren't really good influences. But more people knew who I was.

In fact, my sophomore year is when I started to rebel in certain classes. Well, kind of. I didn't like my chemistry teacher. She always had a witty response for any student. When she had her back turned, I would raise my arm and flip her off. No one ever told on me, so it was a weekly thing. Also, I would have a smart-ass comment for her if she ever said something snide to me. I was sent out into the hallway a few times for that.

(Just a brief note about Chemistry. There was a girl in that class that was quite possibly the most beautiful in the school. She wasn't a girl. She was a woman. Now, when I rate a chic on the 10-point scale, I get criticized for being too harsh. That year, during that class, she was a 10.)

AP World History was greatness. Yes, it was the smart class, but I was part of a group of students that gave the teacher a difficult time. We frequently ignored her, talked louder than a whisper, and made a mockery out of assignments. The most notorious one was when we were assigned to construct a time-line. We randomly drew a line, and randomly pinpointed years on the line. For some reason, this set her off, so we had to meet with her after class for a 15 minute lecture. After a year of this, she gave up teaching AP World History. The group celebrated that as a win.

Don't even get me started on Spanish I. Nothing was accomplished in that class, but it started my writing 'career.' My first project was a script for a porn movie featuring my friends. No, I didn't go into detail for the sex scenes. It was more about making fun of people and such.

By the end of that year, I had made plenty of female friends. I talked a bit more. And I had started drinking. That really paved the way for the next two years.

Sophomore classes:
Band
Art
AP Algebra II
Chemistry
English II
AP World History
Spanish I

So, tomorrow is either the MySpace rant, or the following summer and my junior year.

Good Ol' Football

I was about to start my post on why MySpace is so boring for me. But almost 30 seconds before I touched this keyboard, I realized something.

There are two things I can do that might spice things up for myself, and probably for my reader(s) as well. The first is that I can mention two different topics or stories, and flip a coin to determine which I go with. The second is that I can add a poll to the right and let you choose. I'd put the poll up at the end of the most recent post, and take the official count minutes before I write again.

The problem is that I don't know how many people could access the poll, so I don't think it would be a good idea. On the other hand, if I do a coin flip, who is going to see the result besides myself? Where's the fun in that?

For now, I'll flip a coin. MySpace rant or another high school story. (I have a journal that I created my senior year. Just by reading a sentence, I can remember what happened that day.)

Haha, tails never fails.

I went through that journal, but there's nothing decent enough to put on here. That really forces me to try to remember something. I'm ruling out any football games. I had fun some of the time, but there wasn't anything interesting going on. The half-time performances weren't really interesting either.

Well, maybe I'm wrong about that. Now that I think about it, I probably had the most fun during my first two years. Having something to do on a Friday night was a new experience for me. The football season lasted from the middle of August to early November. The weather for the first game was always in the 90s. Each week, the weather would cool down just a bit. By the time the season was over, the temperature would be closer to the 40s. It had to be cold because I remember families bringing blankets to keep warm. If it was extremely cold, the band could bring blankets too.

Riding the bus to an away game was fun as well. There was always a song, or something funny happening. I sat by myself for the first two years if I remember correctly. But I would have my CD player and a window to look out of. Going to the game wasn't as fun as coming back.

The games would usually end around 10:30PM. If it was a home game, I'd be home by 11:30PM. Right after the school song was played, we would file out of the stands, and get back on whichever bus we were assigned. We would put our uniforms back in their bag and wait for everyone to be accounted for.

But it meant that when we did leave, it was cool and dark. Depending on the location, I would be treated with a view of downtown Dallas on the busiest of nights. So much traffic and so many lights. I would stare out and into other cars, just so I had a visual of who was out there. Sometimes a guy would point out the occasional hot chic driving. "Oh man, did you see that?!"

When we arrived back at the school, we would hang up our uniforms, put our instruments away, and then meet with the directors. If anyone acted up, they had to stay a little bit late. If we had a bad performance, we all had to stay late. If it was an away game, this could be anywhere between midnight and 1AM.

So, my Friday looked like this:

5:45AM: Wake up.
6:40AM: Be at the band hall.
7:00AM: Band practice.
8:05AM: Back to band hall to change.
8:20AM: First class started. (Band for me.)
3:45PM: School ended.

Depending on how far we had to go, we either went back to the band hall right after our last class ended, or we would have to show up around 5PM.

7:15PM: Game starts.
8:30PM: Half-time show.
10:30PM: Leave game.

As I mentioned, I got home between 11:30PM and 1AM. But I would still stay up once I did get home. I'd be online talking to people, or I'd be on the phone. (Yes, I used the phone plenty back then.) I really don't remember how I stayed up. I barely remember what my Saturdays were like. I'll have to ask my parents, because they should remember.

Either way, tomorrow is a MySpace rant or my metamorphosis from freshman to sophomore.

Story Number One

There are two things on my mind right now that are still fresh. I can either explain why I dislike MySpace now, or I can talk about high school and how I made a girl frown. It's really a coin flip. It could go either way.

("It could go either way." I say that too much now. Especially when they are holding A-K, and I have 9-9. The odds are close to 50-50, so it could go...my way or theirs. Either way.)

How about a legitimate coin flip? ...Tails.

First, I'll have to explain something from years before. Back in 8th grade, I was kicked out of GT English. I was told that GT stood for 'gifted and talented.' I was in all of the GT classes. But I hated reading, and I didn't like the teacher, so I really half-assed it. Well, more like quarter-assed it. Well, more like...you see where this is going...

When I hit 10th grade, they wanted to put me back into the advanced English class. But they called it 'Pre-AP' English. It conflicted with my AP Algebra II class, so I had to choose. I didn't care for anything considered 'Pre-AP.' It made the class sound like it was full of students that were only a little above-average. In that case, I'd rather have a 97 in 'regular' English than a 90 in 'Pre-AP' English. (I don't remember what I made.)

During the summer between my 11th grade and 12th grade years, I went to summer school for 2 days with the intention of clearing out English IV. Had to get out, so I ended up taking it during the regular school year. That teacher somehow got the privilege of getting a teacher's aide. She was a cute girl, and only one grade behind me. She was on the drill team, so not only did I see her every weekday from 11:50 to 12:40, I also saw her during band practice on Friday mornings and at the football games later those nights. (The seating arrangement. You know, a picture would work really well here. I sat two seats behind and to the right of her.)

She was friends with the girl who sat to the right of me. I wasn't attracted to her at all. She was nice, but we all know what it means when you describe someone by saying, "Well, they're really sweet..." Either way, that girl had a crush on me. But I had a crush on the teacher's aide. So it was really awkward when I found out.

I didn't want things to get worse, but I also wanted to put myself out there. I told the teacher's aide how I felt. It wasn't mutual. I did the whole, "It's ok, I understand" routine and went back to my seat. Things were really awkward after that.

So, one day a college counselor came to our class. She listed some universities and asked if any of us were going to one. I raised my hand and mentioned UT-Austin. She put a shocked look on her face and asked whether it was through a scholarship or financial aid, and I replied, "Yes." (Man, I was such a smart-ass. Still am, though.) I slumped back in my chair because it got quiet. In my peripheral, I noticed that the teacher's aide was just staring at me. She wasn't smiling. She just had that look of, "Wait...what?" I know she was waiting for me to look at her, or at least acknowledge her with some sound. Didn't.

Whenever I reminisce like this, I always ask myself if there was something I would go back and change. For this particular moment, the answer is no. But concerning high school in general, I would have tried a bit harder. I was an A-B student. If I liked the subject, it was an A. If I didn't like the subject and/or the teacher, it was a B. I would definitely go back and turn those B's into A's. I would have put myself out there for 'the ladies' more than I did. (After I graduated, I received a list of the girls who were into me. A few were more than acceptable.)

So, next up is why I'm done with MySpace. In fact, I'm going to log in right now to post a bulletin. I'm going to let people know that I'm done with it. Or should I just not say a thing? I'm not sure...

Coin flip...

What? Who?

No, I'm just kidding myself. There's plenty of topics I could attack. Sports. Politics. Entertainment. But I limit myself because I might offend someone. I know what type of security measures are in place, and one wrong word can ruin your life.

There's also a matter of truth. I wouldn't say that I've put up a facade. I just restrain myself at different levels according to the company present. The way I normally talk is for those such as family, and friends that I don't share much with. But I only describe it as 'normal' because I use it most of the time. When I feel comfortable with someone, I really let loose.

The biggest problem is that I choose one of these 'settings' very early in a friendship or relationship. If it matches that person, I keep it. For instance, when I met my group for my Computer Architecture project, I got a feel for each member. At first, they were very proper and didn't talk out of turn. So I matched their level. However, after one class where the prof really sucked, the group started to use profanity and such. It was early enough that I was able to readjust, and I fit in once again. In fact, I felt more relaxed once they let their guard down.

It's a weird thing, really. Some people that I've known for 10 or more years only see the polite and mindful Andy. Some people that I've know for far less time get the 'no-regards-for-anyone' Andy. Example: I've known Pat for nearly 12 or so years. And while he cusses, drinks, and smokes, I still restrain myself. Even though I'm much older now, and I know plenty more, I still don't change my language or actions.

It transfers over to how I write as well. My text messages and emails vary according to the receipient. In fact, for some of my friends, I put together messages that would impress English professors. For this blog, I hold back. I check my grammar twice depending on the time. I'll look up information on parentheses to make sure I'm doing it right. But I also write exactly what I think, so some sentences are definitely fragments. It all depends.

By the way, when did "suck" become a bad word? It was censored on Around The Horn, it was mentioned on Red Eye, and it has asterisks on iTunes. When will "blow" become a bad word? What about "crap?" So, the next time I talk about the Spurs, I'll have to say, "Man, they play the sport of basketball poorly. They are really inept at putting the ball through the metal circle. That referee misjudged that play." (Translation: Man, the Spurs suck. Ginobili blows. That ref is full of crap.)

Shorter

I get to house-sit my parent's place this weekend. No plans for that. And it's not the entire weekend either. They are taking off Thursday night, or early Friday morning, and they aren't coming back until Saturday from what I understand. So I'll have some time to myself, and to really get my head together. I love being alone in a quiet place.

Through the magic of 'teh interweb,' I got some Queens of the Stone Age CDs that I didn't have. I'm going through them in chronological order, and it's really something to hear. Josh Homme's voice was totally different when they first started out.

Running low on inspiration for posting, though. I figure it'll come back after this weekend, but there isn't much happening right now.

Fast Points

Just a few quick notes.

Whenever I get frustrated, or stressed, just remind me to take a deep breath and evaluate the situation. The past two nights were rough in that I couldn't fall asleep right away. I would stare at the ceiling and think too much. But now I realize that it could be so much worse. I have great friends, and I have my health. That's as much as I can ask for right now. Things get better, and things will make sense eventually.

As I mentioned on Friday, I wanted Diana Taurasi to win. They won on the road. I'm glad for her.

I'm not a big anime fan, but sometimes I find a show that I like. I was watching an episode tonight that was in japanese with english subtitles. I looked away for a moment, but still listened. I understood what was said. It was a simple phrase, but I knew it.

The women's soccer team is playing right now. It's raining pretty hard there. But they just scored in the 1st minute.

You know the scene in Office Space where Peter is at the hypnotherapist, and the guy is about to have a heart attack? Well, if you watched the Monday Night Football post-game interviews, Andy Reid sounded just like him. He was breathing hard and using two words at a time.

It is way too late to go to sleep. It's past 7AM.

Just More

According to my mom, my body is finally caving under the stress. I told her about the neck problems I've had since April. I can turn my head to the left and all, but not without some pain and resistance. It isn't bad at nights, because usually those muscles have been worked through. It hurts the most in the morning, immediately after I wake up.

My mom said it's stress because she had the same problem when she was stressed out years ago.

The reason why I say "my body" and not "my neck" is that this morning, my left shoulder felt like it wasn't in place. I've had mornings where I slept awkwardly and so my arms were numb. But my shoulder wasn't numb. It just hurt, almost burned.

I don't have a fear of rejection. I've initiated 'relationship talks' before with the females. I don't care if they say, "just friends." Now, I don't like initiating, or hearing, "just friends." But I'm not scared of it.

However, I get extremely frustrated when I submit my resume to a place, and I don't hear back. I know, I have no work experience. Businesses don't like that. But I take these silent treatments as rejections. Pretty much, they've said, "Sorry, not good enough."

I just want to walk up to one of their managers, slam my fist on their desk, and tell them why they need me. Maybe I am labeled a "computer programmer." That doesn't mean that is my only area of 'expertise.' There are things I do that not very many people can.

I understand people. I may not like people, but I understand them. I can figure out why they act a certain way, or why they feel the way they do. I put myself in their shoes, and I can experience it from their point of view. Because I am able to figure that out, I know exactly what someone needs to hear. I may not have the most expansive vocabulary, but I can break down any message so that a 3rd-grader can understand it. Or, if they need an intelligent conversation, I can tweak it.

In my family, I am the glue that keeps things together. I am the oil that keeps everything working. If my dad and my bro argue, I know how to stop it, analyze it, and fix it. If my mom is being focused on when she really doesn't want to be, I know how to grab their attention and hold it. When anyone I know has something on their mind, I'm there to hear it and assure them.

Imagine if I applied these things to a legitimate business. Oh, and if they needed some small software for who knows what, I could do that too.

So, the more I get passed over, the more I'll relate that to a female saying, "just friends." I'll sit there, smirk, and say, "That's too bad, because you don't know what you're missing." I won't wait around for a reply. I'll be out of the door before you finish blinking.

Strong Women

Want to know?

Of course I won. Only 6 people played, and one was new to the game. Amazingly, they weren't the first one out. I played fairly well, and I had my opponents confused about what I was doing. They would say things like, "Well, I haven't seen you bluff." Yet, right after saying that, they continued, "But I'm gonna call." Yea, I don't bluff very often. So it's real fun when the other person gets frustrated after seeing my cards.

I wouldn't call myself a soccer fan. I know the rules, and I'm actually good at the sport, but I rarely watch it. Since I'm awake until nearly 7AM each morning, the TV runs in the background. Around 4AM, things tend to suck. However, on ESPN, they are showing the FIFA Women's World Cup. Normally I would keep surfing through. But the quality of play is actually good. And the US is playing Sweden.

(Some female soccer players are actually hot. Like Heather Mitts. But I do think that if one were to kick me, I would explode.)

I don't watch the WNBA. Basketball doesn't start until Oct. 31st for me. But I do know some of the players. I think Sue Bird is cute. Diana Taurasi is the female equivalent of Steve Nash. In case no one has reported it, the WNBA Finals are in progress, and I'm rooting for Taurasi. Her team has usually been at the bottom. And I'm tired of the Detroit Shock winning every time.

I logged onto MySpace yesterday. It was the 1st time in nearly a week. This time, I'll make it a week.

I didn't mention this on Tuesday. Well, I didn't mention a few things. That day was September 11th, or 9-11. That day holds significance for me, but not for the same reason you might think. It just so happens to be my mom's birthday.

When we came back from my parent's house, it was below 80 degrees outside. We drove back with the windows down, and it was amazing. It felt like an eternity since the last time a cool wind ran through my hair. For just a short moment, every memory with a cool wind flashed through my mind. Each fraction of that second featured a different fall or winter from as far back as I could remember.

When I was 3 or so, I was sitting in the car with my dad. It was an old Lincoln Continental, but it was an ugly green. It was cold enough outside to where the ground was covered in white. I pushed in the cigarette lighter because it always popped back out. Like a jack-in-the-box. When it popped, I took it out and looked at it. It was glowing orange, and the orange was swirled. I looked at my thumb and the swirls on it. I must have thought it was a match because my thumb touched that bright metal.

We went inside a building and put my thumb under some water. I remember screaming, but not crying.

I haven't messed with cigarette lighters since.

Get Ready

Having sinus issues again. There isn't much reason for it, but apparently my Dad is having the same problems. I think it has something to do with the small cold front that came through Monday night, and how I ran through the rain. Just a guess.

Going to take some (non-drowsy) pills and head over to the apartment office. Tonight is the poker tournament, if it actually happens. Not very many people were signed up when I went in there on Tuesday. In fact, I was the fifth person on the list. That's ok. The less people there are, the faster I'll finish it all up.

The only thing that sucks is I don't know who is hosting the tournament. The former hostess trusted me to set things up and keep things going. I set out the chips, kept the timer on the blinds, and settled any "disputes" that came up. I hope the new person doesn't try to mess with things.

Eh, it really doesn't matter.

MNF FTW

Was ok today. Spent the night watching two Monday Night Football games. I wish they would do it more often, but I understand that would be near impossible to pull off.

I do want to say that the Arizona - San Francisco game was terrible. Matt Leinart is horrendous. He needed 28 pass attempts to get over 100 passing yards, and he only completed half of those. 2 interceptions, and only 1 touchdown. BTW, if you watched those 14 incompletions, they were overthrown, underthrown, or just wrongly-thrown. His receivers did well considering what they had to work with. I'm glad they lost.

My bro and I were talking about how San Francisco should have put up a picture of Vince Young when Arizona was on its last drive. We agreed that every team should do it, though.

I have to go by the office tomorrow to sign up for the poker tournament on Thursday. I hope I'm not too late on that.

Deja Vu

Was checking Digg, and I noticed that two stories hit front page regarding crooked cops.

After checking the links, I noticed that they were the same exact video. The second was submitted nearly 3-1/2 hours after the first. However, at this moment, the second submission has more diggs. Combined, there are over 1400 diggs for this video.

Seems like you can delete 3 or 4 characters from a URL and everything is ok. If you want to get on the frontpage of Digg, just piggyback on another story.

Link 1: Missouri cop caught on tape "I can make up nine things to arrest you"

Link 2: Cop gone wild- Lying and making threats just part of his job

Breaking More Stuff

I ate at some pizza place called "Home Slices." It was alright. A little bit loud, but there were some cute girls there.

I broke a PS2 controller. Got a bit frustrated, and I slammed it on the ground. The level of damage was surprising enough to those watching. They were in shock about how I could destroy something with one move. (I've slammed a controller or two before, but the controller usually survived. Not this time. It practically shattered.) So I put everything away for a few hours. Afterwards, I grabbed another broken controller from years ago and created a 'frankenstein' controller. It works.

Now I'm listening to "Era Vulgaris." Some of the songs are soothing, and that's what I need right now.

Empty

Nope, I've got nothing. No inspiration today.

There were no awkward dreams. There were no interesting emails. I didn't do a thing today that deserves talking about.

Just boring.

Social Stalling

I was just flipping through the channels, and I tend to stop and watch TCM. They show plenty of old movies. They're showing "The Explosive Generation" with William Shatner. It was released in 1961, 18 years before he did the first Star Trek movie. The plot revolves around a teacher (Shatner) and a discussion he raised in class about sex. It goes on to show the chaos that it creates with the parents of the students.

One of the crazier parents looks just like John C. Reilly. He threatened to file a lawsuit against one of the boys because he was holding his daughter. There was a slap involved, and it seemed to make sense considering the era. Morals were tight, and even the smallest things were unacceptable.

It makes me realize that I'm in the right era with regards to my personality. I am not the type to follow rules if they conflict with my own judgment. Not necessarily laws, but just unwritten parental codes and the like. I'm fortunate to have been raised by parents that grew up in the 70s. I didn't have very many restrictions, and the few ones there were concerned my overall health. (Don't stick anything into the electrical socket, don't touch the stove, etc.)

There isn't much reason for me to rebel against authority. My dad worked for the police department, and now does crime scene investigations. I've met plenty of his co-workers, and they were all nice. I have respect for most authority figures. I know what is illegal, and I know what is wrong.

I don't even feel bounded by rules. I'm not overwhelmed by the number or the ridiculousness. The things I do with my day are completely safe.

But some of the things I've done would not have been viewed favorably in the 50s and 60s. And I'm only considering 2000 - 2002. It amazes me how much society has changed, and how abruptly. Usually a movement regarding norms takes centuries. If you compare the 1800s to the 1900s, the tolerances were nearly the same. Children went to school, helped their parents until dusk, and went to bed. The husband worked, and the wife managed the house chores.

Now, there's plenty of movements for equal rights. It isn't uncommon for a woman to be single, working, and successful. There are stay-at-home fathers. Most children come home from school, take pills, and play.

It's difficult to find the source of this change. Some 'experts' say that music is to be blamed for unruly children. Others say it is a direct result of violent video games. But it's something else. I played violent video games during my pre-teen years. I listened to (at the time) heavy rock music. I don't run around with chains and knives. I don't go looking for trouble.

I wouldn't say that women have obtained equal rights. There's still plenty left to be worked out. And while it is a great idea for it to suddenly change, bureaucracies aren't about efficiency.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess that movie made me compare the problems of then to the problems of now. I think that the biggest problem out there, right now, is that many people do not have the right role model. We currently do not have the equivalent of Martin Luther King Jr., Che Guevara, Cesar Chavez, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, or even "The Unknown Rebel."

Who are our leaders? Are there any good ones out there?