Decisions, Decisions...

I still get that one feeling.

I like to keep my options open because I never know when some celebrity is going to realize, "Hey, this FBombAndy guy is amazing. I've got to get with him." And in the meantime, I like to keep a list prepared for which famous women I want the most.

I was watching the National Heads-Up Poker Championship on one of those HD channels. It was the semifinals, and some chic was taking on Paul Wasicka. I just saw the last name 'Elizabeth.' I couldn't figure it out, so I just kept watching. Right before the commercial, they called her 'Shannon.'

Yes, that Shannon Elizabeth.

I went to Wikipedia just to double-check.

I think she's at the top of my list. She's a bit older than me, but I don't care. Age isn't that important to me. (OK, Jennifer Tilly, another poker pro, is 48. That is just a bit too old for me. She still looks good and all, but that's old enough to be one of my parents. Not cool.) Shannon Elizabeth is 33, and from Texas. That's my 'in' right there. And 33 isn't too bad. It's just 10 years. (Closer to 11.)

Next on the list would be Hayden Panettiere, but she's not 18 yet. She's off-limits.

I was flipping through the HBOs this afternoon, and I saw Amanda Bynes. She's cute enough. I guess she can fill that spot for right now.

I don't have a No. 3 right now. If Kate Beckinsale weren't married, she'd be here.

OK, I'll go with Rachel Specter from those RGX Bodyspray commercials. Absolutely hot. Don't know if she counts as a celebrity yet.

Maybe I should have people text message their vote in. Or call a special number. Then I can tally up the count and present the results tomorrow night at 8PM Central Time. (I really don't watch the show. Generic people should not be allowed to vote for generic music.)

Katherine Heigl. (I don't like Grey's Anatomy. I like The Ringer.) Jennifer Love-Hewitt. Eliza Dushku. Elisha Cuthbert. Lacey Chabert. Natalie Portman.

OK, I made up my mind.

Shannon Elizabeth.
Lacey Chabert.
Rachel Specter.
Amanda Bynes (Placeholder for Hayden Panettiere.)
Katherine Heigl.
Natalie Portman.
Elisha Cuthbert.
Eliza Dushku.
Jennifer Love-Hewitt.

I need a 10th.

Rachel McAdams.

The Next Day

It's just a tough thing to handle.

This weekend had its ups and downs. The days that were planned out and supposed to be full of fun turned out to be rather boring. The days that had no plans became the most fun.

My sister came in on Wednesday afternoon. I went with her to help find the hotel she was staying at. The managers mentioned that they would have free chicken in a few minutes, so we stuck around for that. Turned out to be Chick-fil-a. Real good stuff. My parents came in later that night.

My sister took me to Target on Thursday to help me find some stuff. One of the things she told me about was Tylenol's new sleep aid. My graduation ceremony on Saturday was at 8AM, and I usually don't fall asleep until 4AM. If I don't get enough sleep, my stomach feels like it's on fire for the day. Pat was at the apartment when we got back, and we tried to figure out what to eat. I already forgot what it was. Might have been Sonic.

I hung out with my sister again on Friday. We had plenty of catching up to do, and it had been 5 years since I last saw her. Erik came by and delivered some unfortunate news. That's not really material for here though. Well, we tried to figure out the best way to prepare for Saturday morning, and we decided that I should get my graduation clothes together and I should sleep over at Erik's since he lives 2 miles away from the Frank Erwin center. Might be less than 2 miles. I tried out the sleeping aid pills, and they somewhat worked. I felt tired, and I slept well. Woke up at 6AM without a problem.

The ceremony was alright. I knew 3 other people there, and we were all worried about having to go to the bathroom during a speech. We spent 50 minutes standing around before lining up and getting out there. Someone came by our section and asked, "Who wants to be first?" I quickly raised my hand, and I was the first to represent the CS grads. I was hoping that right after saying my name, I could just keep walking out of the building. Nope. Doors were locked.

There was one nice thing about sitting in the second row and walking early. I got to see every chic with a nice view. They were covered in gown, but there was enough leg to determine whether or not they had a nice body. That passed about 25 minutes. The speakers really sucked, so that was the highlight.

After all the names and what-not, we walked out. Met up with the family and quickly hurried back to the apartment. I really didn't want to linger around outside.

We all went back to the media room at my apartment. Projector, tables, nice chairs, and a small kitchen. After eating and watching a movie, my aunts and cousins left to walk around downtown. My sister and bro-in-law went also. That left my parents, my bro, sis-in-law, Pat, and Erik. We played some Guitar Hero, and then some Texas Hold 'Em. (I won, of course.) Time came to clean up, and we took care of everything to leave.

Went to Japon with my sis, bro-in-law, and Erik. It's a nice sushi place. Had some talks about recent events in the family. Just some casual conversation.

Most everyone left on Sunday. The only ones that stayed were Pat and my sister. We still had plenty of fun, and I got to try out a new recipe. Sunday night was quiet, but still kind of fun.

Pat left Monday afternoon. I went shopping with my sister after he left. She really wanted to get my some curtains because my window sucks. It's always 10 degrees warmer in my room. Always. We came back and ordered some food. Then we all sat down to watch the season finale of Heroes. After that, my sister had to go back to the hotel to get sleep. Her flight was early in the morning, and she was going to go straight from the hotel. We said our byes, and all that was left was my bro and the kids. (My sis-in-law had to work that night.)

When the kids went to bed, and my bro called it a night, it really hit me. I had been surrounded by people all weekend long, and had spent plenty of time with my sister. But I was now alone in my room and everything was quiet. It was the first time in a really long time that I felt alone. It was midnight, and nothing was happening. Everyone was gone. (But I really missed my sister. We are too much alike. We see the same things, and we thinks nearly the same. It was nice to have someone to talk to like that again.)

Still, I know my parents will be moving here soon. My dad starts working here at the end of the month, and all that's left is to get rid of stuff at my old house. Everything might be finished by the end of June. After that, I think I'm going to take that vacation.

Sweet

The Super Bowl in 2011 will be in Dallas!

I'm listening to 1310AM The Ticket based in the DFW area, and they just caught wind that it will be officially announced in minutes.

This will all take place in Jerry Jones' new $1 billion stadium.

Roger Goodell is at the podium.

Sorting It Out

Just another reason why I'm different.

I'm counting down the days to the graduation ceremony. But I don't get happier with each day passing. I just want to get it over with. Seems a bit contradictory, I know.

I'm ready to be out of there. I want out. But I don't want to go through the formalities. I just want to wake up next Saturday with nothing on my schedule. I don't want to walk anywhere, and I don't want to wake up early. It's one day, but it's one day where the spotlight is on me.

Well, maybe not the entire day. It might just be the first few hours of that day. With family in town, everyone should focus on the kids after long enough. After two hours of ceremony, the plan is to head to the apartment's media room and celebrate. There's some really nice AV equipment in there. You know, a projector, surround sound, and the like. We'll watch a movie, listen to some music, etc. After an hour or two, the family will focus on each other. So I'll be able to sneak away and go sleep.

My parents have been bugging me about what I'm going to do. They're moving down here to Austin so they can be closer to the grandchildren. My dad will work and my mom will be the full-time babysitter. My sis-in-law will keep her job, and my bro might go back to grad school.

The older I get, the less attached I become. The past 5 years away from home have been filled with many revelations about myself. I can go days without speaking to anyone, and I'm overwhelmed when there are too many people, or too much sound. I'm destined for a quiet life where I do exactly what I want and nothing else.

The plan is still to stick out the current lease on the apartment, use that time to gain financial stability, and then find a nice place to live. It might be here in Austin. It could be in Dallas. It could be somewhere out of state.

It's a bit depressing to know that there is a strong possibility that I only have one year left in Austin where I am close to my immediate family. But I also understand that I'm not that 5-year old kid on his first day of school. I'm not that 13-year old kid who is about to start high school.

I looked up to my bro when I was younger. He has always been near. I played French Horn, just like him. I was the drum major my senior year, just like him. But I'm becoming more like my sister. More mature than her age, and distant. I barely have any memories of her. But before I started school, everyone said that we were alike. When I turned 8, she lived 200 miles away. She got married when I was 10. She moved thousands of miles away when I was 12. Since then, I've seen her 5, maybe 6 times, in 10 years.

I think my parents know it too. My dad asked me months ago if I was going to leave, just like my sister did. My mom seems hesitant to ask about what my plans are. And every time they hug me, it feels like they don't want to let go, because I might disappear.

All I can think is, "Wait. I can stay in Austin. I don't have to leave."

But I also think that it's impossible for me to be great if I stay. I don't think I'll accomplish anything if I always have that safety net. Even if I get my own place on the other side of town, nothing good can come out of it. If I go out with them every time, I'll never have independence. If I never go out with them, they will make me feel guilty by saying that I've abandoned them. If I visit once a week, they will expect more, simply because I won't be that far away.

It's not even happening, but it already frustrates me. It wears me out.

Who's That Girl?

Just so everyone knows, I will not be talking about sports any time soon.

It's Sunday, so we did the usual thing. Certain peoples always come over when it's "buffet day" at DoubleDave's. Starts at 5pm, and we just have to be the first ones there, even though everyone here knows I like my dinner at dinner time. 5pm is too early for dinner. If you like to go to bed at 8pm, that's fine. But I don't live in a nursing home. I don't go to bed before the good shows start.

Either way, I went with them because I had not eaten all day long. (I woke up at 2pm today. I made up for the lack of sleep on Friday night. So this buffet was my breakfast.) I had my variety of pizza, and we all just sat around.

There's this new girl that works there now. She came in with the second shift. I've seen her before and all, but sometimes she wears a cap and I can't get a good look at her. From what I can tell, she's cute. Very energetic, in a playful way. You know, playing air guitar to the song playing and hopping up and down.

Back to the point. My bro mentioned, "Hey, why don't you get with that girl?" I just kind of nodded my head and mumbled. That was my poker face.

I think I am going to get that girl's number. Cute, playful, an inch or two shorter than me. I'm good with that. (I don't mean to sound overconfident or anything. I know what I bring to the table. I'll be a college grad soon, with a degree in a highly-demanded field, and I'm all about self-sacrifice.)

(But don't ask me about looks. I'm very self-conscious about my appearance. Now, that doesn't mean that I think I'm hideous. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'm comfortable saying I'm between a 7 and an 8. I could be wrong, as I've been told that I'm attractive. Ok, let's move on...)

The main obstacle right now, in my opinion, is the fact that I'm going to have a van-load of family down here in Austin. It's graduation time, and aunts and cousins are on the way in less than 2 weeks. I do not (do not) want to have a woman when they get here. When people ask me, "So, who's the lucky woman?" I can truthfully tell them to mind their own.

Ah, but once they are all gone, I'm free to do whatever I want. One girl, three girls, it's all up to me. So mark it down on your calendar. May 21st seems like a good day to change 'teh' MySpace's "relationship status."

Sleep On Through

For the past week or so, I haven't been able to stay asleep. I usually wake up at 3AM or so. But there's never a reason why. The only noise in my room is the sound of my desktop running and iTunes. My playlist for sleeping only has music that is relaxing and calm.

You know how if you hear something around you while you're asleep, you can hear it in your dreams? Well, last night I woke up because I heard the smoke alarm. I practically sat up in bed and figured out what I need to do if the hallway is on fire. But 1 second later, and I realize that the smoke alarm is not going off. I must have dreamt that sound.

So then I try to remember my dream and figure out all of the details. I was in a large auditorium and there was a professor lecturing. Fire alarms at UT sound completely different than smoke alarms. Even so, everything was fine and there was no emergency in my dream. I wasn't even paying attention to the professor. I remember walking out of the room and wandering the hallways. Saw a couple of my friends and what-not. It was just a normal dream.

Oh well. I'm sure whatever it is will go away soon. I'm not stressed out, and I'm not anxious. I feel very relaxed. It must be something deep and hidden.