Just More

According to my mom, my body is finally caving under the stress. I told her about the neck problems I've had since April. I can turn my head to the left and all, but not without some pain and resistance. It isn't bad at nights, because usually those muscles have been worked through. It hurts the most in the morning, immediately after I wake up.

My mom said it's stress because she had the same problem when she was stressed out years ago.

The reason why I say "my body" and not "my neck" is that this morning, my left shoulder felt like it wasn't in place. I've had mornings where I slept awkwardly and so my arms were numb. But my shoulder wasn't numb. It just hurt, almost burned.

I don't have a fear of rejection. I've initiated 'relationship talks' before with the females. I don't care if they say, "just friends." Now, I don't like initiating, or hearing, "just friends." But I'm not scared of it.

However, I get extremely frustrated when I submit my resume to a place, and I don't hear back. I know, I have no work experience. Businesses don't like that. But I take these silent treatments as rejections. Pretty much, they've said, "Sorry, not good enough."

I just want to walk up to one of their managers, slam my fist on their desk, and tell them why they need me. Maybe I am labeled a "computer programmer." That doesn't mean that is my only area of 'expertise.' There are things I do that not very many people can.

I understand people. I may not like people, but I understand them. I can figure out why they act a certain way, or why they feel the way they do. I put myself in their shoes, and I can experience it from their point of view. Because I am able to figure that out, I know exactly what someone needs to hear. I may not have the most expansive vocabulary, but I can break down any message so that a 3rd-grader can understand it. Or, if they need an intelligent conversation, I can tweak it.

In my family, I am the glue that keeps things together. I am the oil that keeps everything working. If my dad and my bro argue, I know how to stop it, analyze it, and fix it. If my mom is being focused on when she really doesn't want to be, I know how to grab their attention and hold it. When anyone I know has something on their mind, I'm there to hear it and assure them.

Imagine if I applied these things to a legitimate business. Oh, and if they needed some small software for who knows what, I could do that too.

So, the more I get passed over, the more I'll relate that to a female saying, "just friends." I'll sit there, smirk, and say, "That's too bad, because you don't know what you're missing." I won't wait around for a reply. I'll be out of the door before you finish blinking.