Third Year

Before I flip that coin, just want to mention that I fell asleep around 1:30PM. Woke up at 6:30PM. I should be tired right now, but I'm not. Real fun.

Alright, so MySpace rant or Summer '00 to Spring '01.

I kid you not, it's tails again.

Junior year schedule:
Band
Spanish II
Speech/Sociology (?)
English III
AP US History
AP Pre-Calculus
Physics I

Right at the end of my sophomore year, there was a school trip for those students who passed that final TAAS test. (A stupid standardized test.) We all went to Six Flags. I rode my first roller coaster, but I didn't do much after that. It was fairly hot and I started to get dehydrated. I went towards the entrance and saw a friend of mine. She introduced me to a friend of hers. We talked a bit then, and we decided to keep in touch over the summer. You know, phone calls, emails, and IM. But a weird thing happened a week or two later.

I received a random IM from a girl in the french horn section. Talked a bit before they said that it wasn't who I thought it was. There was a bit of a guessing game, but I figured it out. It was another chic from band. It had me a bit confused, but we kept talking anyway. That conversation went from nearly 6PM to 1AM. She wanted to talk again the next day, so that was another 7-hour talk.

Now, before this, we had never talked or anything. Since we were in band and came in the same year, I did notice who she was. At the time, I considered her to be cute. So there was a small amount of attraction from my end. Towards the middle of the second IM conversation, I had already told her about this. It got her interest, so by the end of the night, I had her number.

I would say that from the middle of June to the beginning of August, I spent 40 hours a week on the phone with her. Everything was comfortable, and we got to know each other. We were looking forward to band camp, but I was rather nervous. Up to that point, I just kept thinking about, "Do I go straight to her? Do I hang out with her? Should I just ease in slowly?"

One of the more interesting band camp sessions involved my 'initiation' into a club. This club brought in two new members each year, and the only requirements were that you had to be accepted by the other members, and you had to do something embarrassing. It was determined that I had to serenade one of the freshman. The chic I had been talking to knew in advance what was going to happen, and it was my job to get her attention before I did it so she could laugh at me. (Yea, real nice.) I didn't. So, everyone else got to see my sing "Light My Fire" to one of the cuter freshmen.

I was drinking every other night at this point. It was only a drink or two at a time, and it was only for relaxation. One night, she called me and I was on that second drink. She noticed I was talking way more than usual. (Which means I was talking more than 25% of the time.) She wanted me to quit drinking, and so I did. (Ugh, the things I do for people...)

Either way, we kept talking all the way through until UIL, which was the middle of the October. The morning before, a friend and I went to a flower shop. We hid the purchases at another friend's house for easy access the morning of. I totally caught her off guard, and she really opened up to me. Funny thing is...

She had some secrets. She had told me she was single, but she wasn't. I forgot how I found out, but things got very tense. I immediately stopped talking to her. I didn't even want an explanation. I went along my way for the next week before I was called down to the guidance counselor's office. She was sitting in there, and had manipulated her counselor to get me in there as well. The counselor left the room and let her talk to me.

I don't remember exactly what was said, but there was an apology in there somewhere. And not one of those look down at the floor and say, "I'm sorry." It was eye-to-eye, with tears running down her face, and she was practically down on her knees. I happen to be a forgiving person, and I figured that she was sincere. We started over, and things kept moving along. One of the things she had promised me was that she was going to dump her current boyfriend.

I met her sister in December, and we randomly ended up at a band dance that night. The next day, I met her parents. Her parents really liked me, and everything was good.

However, over the winter break, we didn't spend anytime together. We didn't even talk on the phone for more than 5 minutes. I got the feeling that she was avoiding me. So I stopped trying, and just did my own thing. I figured some space was healthy. I looked forward to the start of the new year and getting things going again. When school did start back up again, she was real quiet with me. She didn't even look at me. It wasn't until a few days later that her best friend came up to me and pulled me aside.

So, there was a rumor going around that Girl B and I were hooking up behind Girl A's back. We immediately straightened things out, but it was still awkward. Meanwhile, I found out that Girl A still had a boyfriend. So, I ended it.

I know it's a flaw of mine, but it isn't one I care to fix. When I trust someone, it is with complete faith in that person. No matter what, my faith in them could not be budged. But that's only from external forces. If you betray that trust in anyway, there is no, "Goodbye." I just disappear. Before an apology can leave their lips, I'm already too far away to hear it.

That spring semester was not very fun. I beat myself up over my poor judgment, and it affected me physically. My blood pressure shot up, and I missed a week of school because of it. I just remember spending that week at home and quietly figuring it all out. When I have a problem, I deal with it head on. I start thinking about it, and I don't stop until it's resolved.

She tried to get me back by dumping her boyfriend and saying "love" again. But it was all third-party information, since I was never around her. She waited for me, and hoped that I would come back. But nope, I didn't. My mind was made up, and I looked elsewhere.

That decision set the path for me. I became even more withdrawn, but I had a new fire inside me. I did whatever I wanted. I made my own decisions without consulting anyone. I grew up very quickly. That May, I tried out for drum major. A week later, they made the announcement, and I was 2nd Drum Major. I think that was the day she quit band.

But if there were any positives out of that school year, it was 2 friendships in particular. It was the maturity I gained. It was the new self-confidence I gained after learning that, "Hey, some chics want me." It wasn't a great year, but it was still important.

So, tomorrow is a MySpace rant or the mistakes I made my senior year.

"If beauty were a stationary bike, she'd be between my legs right now."