Look For It

Don't know where to start with this one.

In the previous post, I mentioned that I associate memories with songs. So, A Perfect Circle's eMotive came out election day, 2004. Anything that was going on that month, or even that season, is committed to that album.

Well, earlier today, on America's Got Talent, one of the performers did a cover of Marvin Gaye's "What's Going On." A Perfect Circle also did a cover, and amazingly so. This song can be found on eMotive.

I listened to the song again since it had been a while. It still sparks something inside of me. I like the original, but I like the mellow sound that A Perfect Circle used. Both versions are great in my book.

Either way, I've mentioned before that I'm a jack-of-all-trades. I'm good at plenty of things, but I'm not exceptional at anything in particular. I realized that isn't entirely true. There is one thing I'm better at than almost everyone I know.

I'm great at finding information. On anything. I know where to look, and I know how to get.

So, back to the main point. I listened to the cover, and it brought me back in time to November 2004. If you look back at my old blog, there was someone who dominated my thoughts for most of that season. And the following season as well.

I hadn't heard from her in a long, long time. Maybe 2 years? More? (Remember, when I feel like I'm no longer needed, I bail out. I stop. I disappear. You may not hear from me for weeks, months, or years. That's what happened there. I felt that things had run their course, so I left.)

(I still don't know why I'm like that. I dig through my childhood for any type of abandonment issues, but there aren't any. There's no source for that type of behavior. But, maybe it's just something I created for myself. Possibly a defense mechanism? Leave a person before they leave you? Maybe...)

So I decided to get "information."

Married and living in Costa Rica.

...

Can't say that I'm shocked. But it makes me think, "My gosh, why did I invest so much into that? It was nothing, and it turned into nothing."

Another chapter to add to my book. If I ever write a book.