Baleeted

I was reading an article that defined a 'digital packrat.' One of the questions was whether you have email from 5 years ago saved on your hard drive. I know for sure that I have 5 year old emails online in one of my many Hotmail accounts. (In fact, I have one email that is over 6 years old.)

I don't know why I still have these old emails. I guess it's the only way that I can remember what was going on back then. In a way, that was the purpose of my first blog. It was there to remind me of what I was like, just in case I ever changed. Once I ended that blog, I created the second to explore different topics, and start anew. This is my third 'main' blog. I've created several others that served a single purpose. I had one that was completely uncensored, but I didn't like it after a while. I have another to contain my podcasts, but I find it difficult to produce those without someone here to guide my conversation.

Some of my older emails are just special. Maybe it was the first comment I've ever received on a post. Maybe it was the last time I heard from someone. Or it might have been filled with hints that I didn't catch the first time around.

Since I started using Outlook, I've kept all of the emails I've sent as well. I can verify the exact words I used when writing someone. If they replied and didn't include the body of my message, I can go back and find the original.

But now that I think about it, I really don't need those emails. If I can't remember what someone wrote, it must not have been that important. A couple of days ago, I asked about the difference between thinking about the good ol' days and living in the past.

When I ended my first relationship in high school, I took all of the notes she gave me and shredded them. (Yes, this was high school. Back before everyone had text messages. So we passed notes. Pen and paper.) I did it so I didn't have any physical objects to remind me of her, and eventually I would forget. For a month back in 2004, I regretted doing that. Now, I'm fine with that decision, even if it was a minor one.

I think I'll get away from my past by deleting some emails. Then I won't be able to look at them and remember everything attached to them.

And I'll forget.